Through Thy Wordless Love
by whysosiriusumbridge
Summary: I had discovered that James Potter and Sirius Black were a bit of bullies. And I did not do good in dealing with people with egos the size of the Black Lake. Living with Norse Gods would do that to you. Or maybe, sharing a dorm with Lily Evans did that to you. Marauder Era- A niece of the God of Mischief thrown into the time of the First War, will the world survive?
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

Loki Odinson had never understood the importance of patience. It left a bitter taste in his mouth, that word- _patience. _But after so many years of being taught the meaning by different individuals, he was finally coming to understand it because of this little Midgardian tradition. He had always enjoyed this part of the process- when he went to fetch his trainees. The parents were usually terrified of him, and refused to believe in his existence, which never failed to amuse him. The last four- five times, he had always introduced himself at the time of their birth, took them off exactly on their first birthday. They had always grown up in an environment concomitant of Midgard and Asgard and he had always started his work right after one year of their birth was over.

This particular time, however, he had followed Heimdal's advice, just this once, (lest the bastard be smug, as if he already wasn't) to see how it would differ. It was her 9th birthday today, and he hoped that the fools had not organised that pathetic excuse of a _celebration_ that they usually did, (with _balloons_, _cakes_ and _kids_, oh so many kids, the _horror_) and then he had to wipe the memories of that many more people. That, and he hated celebrations in general, mainly because they were mostly to celebrate some ineffectual battle his buffoon of a brother had won. Anyway, it had required patience this time around, to be 9 years late, yes, but _was_ the fruit going to be as sweet? He found himself grinning apprehensively at the thought.

He looked at the Midgardian house that held the humans he needed to confer with. It was simple, but it held a twist of elegance in it. It was white, like most in the street, but not small. It was huge, but only as compared to those on the street; it was obviously nothing against the beauty of those in Asgard. He walked to the front lawn, and up the two steps that led to a small white door, then pressed the small white square apprehensively. He felt a thrill of nervous anticipation course through him, wondering what would become of this meeting.

* * *

He had made sure to transfigure his clothes according to the latest trends on Midgard, at least, as much as his dignity had allowed. So why was the foolish man staring at him like he was out of his wits end? It was slowly driving him towards irritation. Yes, he was presenting a theory that sounded insane but he had never had anyone look at him in _that_ insulting a way.

Seeing the disbelieving expression of the thin man not fading away, he turned his attention to the wife. She was a woman of history, she _must_ have read something about this somewhere. (Plus, he had noticed it as somewhat of a tradition in the Odinson family- all the previous ones, that the woman of the house was more in command of such situations)

"Miss Katerina, you are a scholar of the ancient history of your planet. I highly doubt that you did not come across the mention of this 'tradition' in at least one of the old texts preserved in the Odinson library?"

The fair haired woman had remained stoic through all his speech, her face betraying no hint of emotion ever since he had started explaining in detail how every seventh generation of the Odinson family was born with the power of magic. The unique magic which was a mix of both Asgardian and Midgardian magic. How he came for their training every time, and took them away, then trained them in the art of magic properly, and finally leaving them in the company of the Midgardian magic users, to befriend them, form alliances with them and help them to keep control of the balance and doings of the small community. It was more of a task to keep themselves informed of the ongoings among the magical society. But it was a task nonetheless, one he was intent on completing properly.

The woman breathed in deeply once, before letting out her breath slowly. "Yes, I have."

The flat tone she said the few words in, made it clear that she was not too happy about it. Her clear voice rang in the silence that followed, creating a palable tension in the room. Her husband was now giving her the look he had been giving him previously. She avoided her husband's eyes easily, looking straight ahead at him instead.

"So you must know that it is the truth?" he said, with the slightest hint of a smirk.

He knew he was pushing it just a little, but he couldn't help it. He liked making people uncomfortable. The woman's eyebrow twitched and she jutted out her chin by a very minute inch- "Prove it."

It was almost too easy after that. He carefully took note of her expression as he changed his appearance back to his normal robes, and resisted the urge to grin satisfactorily as her eyes widened in response.

The rest of the conversation was made directly with Miss Katerina, as she enquired about the meaning of the unnatural incidents that had surrounded her daughter from a very young age. And then, finally, he had met _her_.

She was playing silently in the backyard, by a small pond. She straightened immediately on seeing them, her eyes alert- Oh. Her _eyes_.

She was beautiful, just like the others had been, but in a very different, human, innocent and _fragile_ way. It was a result of the years spent at Midgard, surely. He had been contemplating the effects of his late arrival, it's consequences, and this was surely one of them- among others like having the basic knowledge of the language prevalent in the area, a basic understanding of logic, of how things worked in the day to day life of humans. (Truthfully, the pros of this situation were more than he had cared to think but he was actively discovering that this was a much beneficial arrangement, though he wasn't going to tell that to Heimdal) She still possessed the naivety of a young girl, not having grown into puberty yet. And still, she was most beautiful. Tall for her age, he could already see that she would grow up into a very attractive young woman. Her eyes were green, deep forest green, and they held the same kind of intensity, the mystery, the power in them, that he usually saw in his own. Her hair was black, wavy, and ended near her knees. They were as dark as his own, he noticed with joy.

This was better than he had expected. His grin grew larger as he walked closer to her, noticing her rigid posture on seeing a possible threat. She was going to be _very_ easy to train.

"This is my daughter, Evelyn Odinson."

She looked warily at her mother, as if expecting a reprimand of some sort from her, but when none came, she seemed to relax the tiniest bit and then turned towards the dark-haired God with eyes full of suspicion.

"Evelyn, I am you Uncle, Loki Odinson of Asgard."

He felt himself bowing slightly and then took her hand in his, kissing it lightly. He watched with surprise, as she bowed slightly too, without hesitation.

"Hello, Uncle Loki."

Her voice was sweet, laced with the politeness, and her eyes were alight with burning curiosity. He hadn't changed his clothes back after all. He felt himself smirking unwillingly at the smallest, ridiculous quality of the willingness to _impress_ that she already had.

He watched her carefully for a few minutes as she was sent away by her mother to play by the swings. He noticed her each and every movement in silence, and how she seemed distracted by their presence, but did not dare defy her mother's orders.

Katerina Odinson broke the silence by asking how long this training would last and how he would go about doing this. He told her to "just watch" as he walked over to the little black-haired girl and stretched his hand for her to shake.

He smirked like a shark at the mother as she grasped his hand, and he deliberately began to slowly disappear like a mirage, watching with satisfaction as the mother's face turned from confused to shocked and then panicked.

Because let's face it- he wasn't blind. In fact, he considered himself to be rather clever, so he had obviously noticed the lack of celebration (as much as he hated it) on the girl's 9th birthday, the dejected way she had sat by the water before she had noticed them. He hadn't missed the apprehension in her eyes as she had gazed upon her mother and neither had he missed her slight winces of pain as she had climbed the swing.

It was too obvious- his precious niece had been _abused_ in this household, most probably because of the incidents of accidental magic Katerina Odinson had seeked explanation for. The way the woman spoke of them, with distaste, as if it was something alien, and not at all acceptable, and the way the man, the husband had reacted to his information, was proof enough that these people were not adjusting when it came to the extraordinary.

And because of that, Katerina Odinson and her family _deserved_ to suffer at least a few months before knowing that their daughter was safe, if they even worried, that is. The second reason he had used this underhand trick was that he needed to prove – that he was, after all, the God of Mischief. And _no one_, hurt those under his care. _His_ family.

**Please review!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Uncle Loki dropped me at the gates of King's Cross station, trusting me enough to find my own way through the crowded station. I pecked him on the cheek one last time, knowing that it would be his last day on the planet. He was going to go back to Asgard this evening, after settling affairs with my landlord and things at Gringotts regarding my fees. I had asked him to meet Dumbledore as well, but I knew he was going to avoid- he had been clear that his only motive for the prolonged stay had been to see me off to Hogwarts, finally.

"Will you be coming to visit me?" I asked, grabbing my wand from the dashboard and sticking it in my pocket; I wouldn't need to expand my luggage until I was on the train itself.

"No, I don't think so, the instructions are very clear- I cannot come back unless you need my help, sincerely and ask Heimdall precisely to send me. Or if your life is in danger, then I shall be immediately informed." he said, smiling a swift smile, patting my head lightly. It was one of the only contacts I'd seen him make- either he patted me on the head or touched my cheek- and that was only when he was being _very_ emotional. I rolled my eyes, making my displeasure obvious.

"Do good at your school," he begun, and I grinned, noticing the mirth shining in his eyes, "Try to get good grades and please, I mean it, do not stay out of trouble. Make me proud and live up to the name of the Odinson family. Not your's, _ours_." he added with a wink, before ushering me out of the car.

I jumped and hugged him one last time, and he patted my head again, though I could feel him get uncomfortable immediately, before I pulled away and he turned serious. His eyes were suddenly focusing on my face, and I knew at once that he was concerned. "Take care of yourself." he breathed softly, and caressed my cheeks, probably for the last time. I felt tears prickling the corner of my eyes- I would _not_ cry. Yes, I wouldn't be able to see him or Uncle Thor, or anyone at Asgard for at least three years now, but I had to hold up. I would have practically no one to turn to if things didn't turn out good at Hogwarts. What if I was horrible at Midgardian magic? What if I managed to make no friends?

What if someone _found out_?

I wanted to hug him tightly and bury my head in his shoulder and never let go, but that would mean running away. Yes, a whole new school without anyone to turn to and no allies was terrifying but I would never quit.

So I pushed back the anxiety, fear and utter _terror_ I felt, hunched up my shoulders, smiled brightly and assured him that I would wreak as much havoc at Hogwarts as much possible. I turned and practically tripped over a lady in the haste to get inside quickly- I would not watch him leave, I _could_ not.

I took out the ticket that I had received with my second acceptance letter, and scanned the sheaf of paper until my eyes found the Platform number.

_Wow_, I thought. I was right after all. Not only were British wizards idiots for making one of the busiest places in London as their passage point, but they were absolutely barmy. Platform Nine and three quarters? Seriously? And I'd thought they had a Ministry of Magic.

Now how the hell was I supposed to find a wizard among this crowd of people?

I opted out of asking the guard- only first years would make that mistake. Instead, I decided to lean by platform ten and watched everyone closely, alert for any weird looking guy or girl.

Thankfully, a well built boy with a trunk passed me, heading towards Platform nine, and I quickly tapped him on the shoulder. Whoa. He had some muscled arms.

"Hi. How can I help you?" he said, giving me the once over. I was wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt with a black jacket and jeans and realized that I must have looked like any normal muggle.

"Hi, I was wondering how to get on the platform for Hogwarts?" I said, appraising his appearance- he had dark brown hair and a short nose, and more broad shouldered than anyone I had ever seen. A few scars ran along his face and hands but he was wearing school robes and there was a Prefect badge shining on his chest.

"You're the new student?" he said, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes..." I prolonged my answer, wondering what was so surprising, and raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"You do know that we have to bring a trunk along with us?"

I snorted loudly at his question. "Yes, I do know that, but I prefer to take the help of magic whenever I can, since I _am_ gifted with it." I said, fishing out my shrunk trunk from the depths of my jacket and showing the miniature thing to him.

He looked stumped for a moment, "How did we ever not think of that?"

"Modern education has a way of messing with people's common sense." I replied cryptically, but his expression cleared and he countered back immediately, "No, we're not supposed to use magic outside of school."

_Oops_. I had used wandless magic, of course, and wracked my brains to cover for the slip.

"Well, I had my Uncle do it for me when he dropped me here." I smiled, "And it's the thought that counts, right?"

"I suppose," he said, still looking at me suspiciously, "Come on then."

I followed him as he walked towards the barrier between Platforms nine and ten and paused right next to it. "You have to go through the barrier and it will open for you when you reach it. Our Platform is on the other side. You can run if you're nervous."

A few moments of silence passed and when he didn't say anything more, I let out an incredulous laugh, looking at him with wide eyes, "You're joking."

"No, seriously. It is through that barrier." he said, chuckling himself now.

"Show me your ticket." I said suspiciously, deciding to make sure that he was, in fact, a student.

He stopped laughing abruptly and looked at me confusedly. "But it's probably in the depths of my trunk right now. We never use it except for the first time."

"Are you… Do British wizards have no sense of self-preservation?" I said appalled at the methods they adopted. Who ran headfirst into a barrier to get to school? "This way, anyone can get onto your platform and if someone doesn't have the ticket and it's an emergency, you're doomed!"

The boy -whose name I had still not asked- looked at me with something akin to appreciation but I was too busy to get flustered. "You know, I have a theory, but I never got a chance to check it. I guess you wouldn't mind if I ran a check now?"

I shrugged, curious to understand how this barrier system worked. "Run me by your theory then."

"Well, I think that the ticket is necessary only for the first time you enter the Platform. After that, the barrier, sort of, records the magical signature of the being and then recognizes them the next time try to enter. Which would explain why the tickets are needed just one time."

I hummed in response. "But, hey, what if the ticket is required each time you enter? Only you don't consciously recognize it because it's already there in your luggage? But the barrier can recognize the spell being there, so it allows entry."

He contemplated for a moment before nodding slowly, "You know, that does make sense. I really do want to check this theory. Okay, give me your ticket and try to put your hand into the barrier."

I handed him my ticket and did as he had said; only my hand stopped and I met solid stone.

He hummed again and gave me back my ticket. Then he proceeded to put his hand against the barrier and it passed right through! I could only see his arm up to his wrist and squinted closely at the barrier.

He pursed his lips as he thought. "This could easily be because this is your first time. I can't get out the ticket right now, it would mean emptying my whole trunk."

"That's fine. Give me mine, I hope I can get in this time first."

I took my ticket and immediately pressed my hand against the barrier wall, meeting thin air this time, and my hand passed right through. I grinned at the boy next to me and then quickly stepped inside the barrier, landing onto what I presumed was the Hogwarts Platform.

As it turned out, it was. I was immediately followed by the boy, as I took a full minute to soak up the beauty of the scene in front of me.

A scarlet and black engine stood on the platform, emitting thick white smoke and I wondered belatedly why no one had lung problems after standing in this for five minutes. There were sounds of the engine whistling every minute, children shouting goodbye or girls shrieking happily to each other, parents hugging little kids, probably for their first year and a colorful blend of animals like cats, owls and a toad or two hooting, croaking and mewing from among people's legs.

I ignored the pang of loneliness I felt as I saw a family standing far off, both parents hugging to two children in turn, who looked to be in third or fourth year.

"We still haven't introduced, you know, and we might be possible research partners on the magic of the Platform barrier." I said offhandedly, turning away from the family, as the boy joined me on the side, observing the on goings around us.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot. Remus Lupin, I'm in fifth year, Gryffindor and I'm a Prefect." he said, holding out his hand to shake. I shook his hand gingerly – his hands were abnormally large – and noticed a thin scar along his face more closely. In fact, there seemed to bags under his eyes and he looked tired.

"Evelyn Odinson. How did you know I was the new student?" I followed him as he pushed his trunk towards the train at a slow pace. "Hold on, _Locomotor Mortis._" I waved my wand at his trunk and it floated slightly above the ground in front of us. Common sense really did seem to surpass him. Plus, I was slightly afraid he would pass out from the effort or something because he looked unusually exhausted for someone so muscled.

"Thanks," he grinned at me – flashing scarily perfect white teeth – and resumed his walk, "Dumbledore wrote to me and Lily- she's the other prefect, about you being sorted into Gryffindor since he wanted us to make sure you arrived properly. Good thing you ran into me."

I smiled at him as we climbed the train and he proceeded to look for a particular compartment – probably his friends. "Which compartment should I be looking out for?" I asked, thinking I should help. Remus seemed a kind enough boy and I hoped his friends were similar, though I couldn't help but raise a quizzical eyebrow at his response- "Whichever is the loudest." he shrugged.

Grimacing at the thought, I kept following him until he stopped outside a door, from behind which, I could hear loud voices of laughter and maybe someone shouting.

Without bothering to knock, Remus slid open the door with a loud screech and I had a glimpse of a red-headed girl and a dark haired boy, who had his back to the door, before Remus' broad body was covering the entrance. He easily had a few inches on me and I was effectively blocked from view as he was greeted with loud cheers and sighs of relief.

"Remus, thank Merlin you're here. Now, I'll be really grateful if you get this filth out of my compartment so that I can breathe without getting Potter germs on me." A girl's voice said, and Remus moved inside the compartment, me following, shutting the door.

There was collective silence as I regarded the people inside the compartment. "You must be Evelyn," the red head said almost immediately, smiling broadly and shaking my hand. "I'm Lily Evans."

"Oh, so you are Evelyn!" the black haired boy standing beside Lily said, extending his hand, "I'm James Potter."

I smiled nervously at him, shaking his hand, as the two girls sitting beside the windows introduced themselves as Alice Prewett and Mary McDonald with cheery waves. Two more boys were sitting alongside them – _wasn't this compartment for six? _– and another black haired one stood up with a flourish.

"Sirius Black, at your service." he said charmingly, taking my hand and bringing it to his lips. My eyes widened in realization and I snatched my hand away quickly, before he could kiss it. It was probably a rude gesture but I was _not_ comfortable with touching.

His eyebrows rose dangerously high and I blushed shamefully, muttering a slow "Hi." I managed to tear my eyes from his grey ones, which were very beautiful, boring into mine, and very _insulted._

"Stop it, Sirius." Remus said warningly, and Sirius Black looked at Remus innocently. "What? I was just welcoming her." he said, though his tone made it clear that he was attempting something more than welcome. I frowned and the others laughed loudly, the boy called James clapping Sirius on the back, grinning at his insult, like a friend would.

"Don't worry Evy, that git is always like that. Come on, sit with us; we'll keep you safe from him." Mary McDonalds said, getting up and pulling me towards her on the seat, mock glaring at Sirius.

"Alright, alright, I won't make any advances at her, yet." he winked at Mary and she huffed, rolling her eyes as the fourth, mousy haired boy introduced himself as Peter Pettigrew.

"I am right here." I said with as much emphasis as I could, but only Alice grinned apologetically, as the others' attention was diverted to an argument that had sprung up between Lily and James.

Lily seemed to be intent on kicking out the boys, while James seemed to be intent on staying. Remus was the referee, as he seemed to be the only one who could convince James to leave.

Thankfully, after one glare from Remus, James seemed to subside and agreed and the boys left, Sirius bidding goodbye to Mary in particular who seemed to be annoyed at him. Peter trailed behind quietly, and Remus was the last to leave.

He looked outside and I noticed that the train had started moving already. "Ah, well. Evelyn, we'll continue that experiment of ours at the end of term, okay?"

"Of course," I grinned widely at him, and he made to move outside, when Lily stopped him.

"Oi! Make sure to be back soon, we have prefect rounds to do."

"Of course, see you at the feast girls." Remus said, waved and shut the door.

Lily settled down beside Alice and scrutinized me with her bright green eyes. They were quite remarkable and I wondered if I would ever get a chance to look closely. I had always been fascinated by people's eyes, they were the most beautiful part of a person and a clear window to the soul, if one looked closely enough.

"You're not uncomfortable, are you?" she said nervously. I almost laughed; she was behaving as she was the new one here, not me. "No, Lily, I'm fine."

"So why are you starting so late?" Mary asked, and I shifted uncomfortably, but decided to give her a brief account of my training, mentioning that an Uncle had decided to home school me. I refused to talk about my family, and after skirting around the topic for a few minutes, I made it clear that it was tabooed. They got the hint and the conversation passed on to Hogwarts – I listened intently as they recounted stories of the boys' antics, Lily with disgust and Mary with laughter, not losing any opportunity to defend the boys' pranks as 'harmless' and 'just a little bit of fun'. Lily, on the other hand, seemed to be completely against rule breaking and disapproved of their ideas.

Alice saved the day by turning the conversation towards other things - tonight's feast for example, and explained the various subjects, suggesting which teachers to avoid and which were fine. Then they discussed about the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher; it seemed that the post was believed to be jinxed and no teacher lasted more than one year.

At about one o' clock, after Lily had returned from prefect duties, a witch with a trolley knocked on the door and I was invited to buy anything I wanted. I fished out money eagerly and brought stacks of the things the girls suggested, and enough chocolate to last me almost a year. If there was good food at Hogwarts, and a supply of good chocolate, I was sure the year was going to be spent in ecstasy.

As we settled down, Alice opened a pack of Chocolate Frogs and I froze as she tore open a piece and bit the head off of a frog, which had been struggling in her hold.

I heaved silently and almost gagged at the display, catching the girls' attention.

"What the fuck did you just do to that?" I waved towards Alice and she looked confusedly at the thing in her hand. "Sorry?"

"Are you supposed to eat chocolate frogs like that?" I asked incredulously, and Lily laughed, understanding my predicament.

"Evy, they're not real frogs! They've just been charmed to look like they're alive."

"But why would you do that?! Who wants to feel like they're eating a live frog?"

There was confused silence for a moment before Mary started laughing, and Alice joined her. I laughed a bit too, but I was still slightly nauseated. "You are right, you know." Lily agreed after a while, when we had stopped laughing. "I was eleven when we were introduced to all this, so we never really looked at the technical side, or rather, practical side. But now I think about it that way..." she shivered disgustedly.

"Well, you can continue that but I am never eating a frog, dead or alive, chocolate or real." I said finally and we laughed a bit more as Alice recounted a story of one of her cousins, who was terrified of frogs in general.

After we were well fed, Lily decided to curl by the window with a book, while Alice and Mary played Exploding Snap, Mary laughing loudly every time Alice' hair were burnt off because they were longer. Alice had long and dark hair while Mary supported a boyish haircut, her light brown locks cropped to her neck.

I settled by the window too, gazing outside at the beautiful scenery that was getting darker slowly, and greener too. After about two hours more, Lily decided to meet Remus for Prefects rounds again, suggesting us to change into clothes as we were almost there.

Anxiety settled into the pit of my stomach, as I settled back down in the black robes, wondering how my life at Hogwarts would turn out to be.

**How's the first look? Review please?**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had treated me well over the past month. The castle was one beautiful specimen of architecture and mystery and magic and I had been loving every moment of interacting with it. It was as if I had access to a vast aorta of information, and the power that I could feel throbbing through the stone walls whenever I touched them with concentration - _actually tried to feel it_ \- the castle's magic responded heartily. It was amazing!

My magic could easily determine how old the magic of the castle was, and believe me, it was _old_. I had connected to it in a very different and... unusual way. It was the reason why I hadn't got lost even once since the start of term. When asked nicely, the castle showed unimaginable ways to get to your destination and it had been a fantastic asset until I memorized the way to all classes properly. Also, the looks of my new friends were worth the effort when I managed to reach a place before them. I always grinned devilishly in their satisfyingly frustrated faces; it was driving the boys _nuts_.

Speaking of friends, in my short existence before coming to Hogwarts, I had not talked much to any person beside my family, my uncles and a few people of Asgard who didn't really count. Suddenly living with a group of girls after spending almost five years alone was a bit... disturbing, at first. Lily snored, Alice mumbled in her sleep sometimes and Mary - goodness, but I think that girl could sleep through an earthquake. Even if the walls around her crumbled and collapsed, she wouldn't even stir. It had taken me a week to adjust to that development alone.

At first I was unsettled by the general companionship of the lot itself. The girls were quite different personalities and I was sure that if they weren't in the same house and year, they wouldn't even know each other.

Lily Evans appeared to be an uptight, sophisticated, goody two shoes bitch at first sight, but I found her to be the kindest, smartest and most helpful of them all. She had been the one to make sure that I was never left out of conversations, or forgotten, when everyone was busy as a group that had existed together for a good part of four years.

It was an admirable effort, and I was grateful, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it was suffocating. I mean, it was obvious to me when they cracked a joke on one of Mary's habits that I didn't know existed, that I had to maintain a poker face while they laughed, and had to ask later what they were talking about. The way Lily would apologize profusely irritated me no end. But I had managed not to snap at her the few times this had happened. Thankfully, these occurrences were almost negligible now.

Mary MacDonald, on the other hand, was the opposite. She was outgoing and took everything in her stride. There was rarely any awkwardness with her around and she seemed to be as adventurous and naughty as Lily was bound to act the perfect Prefect. She also tended to be a little mean sometimes, and tomboyish, which was also quite opposite to Lily's feminine habits. One thing that was same in both girls, and that I loved, was their _compassion_. They were both very compassionate people, even though Mary tended to be a lot louder about it. Like telling Yaxley what a dick he was, in front of the whole Great Hall on Tuesday, after he had been caught tormenting a second-year.

The third girl in the dorm was Alice Prewett, and I liked the quiet, shy girl. It was as if she simply existed for me to have someone to share an eye roll with when Lily and Mary were being... well, Lily and Mary. She was there to balance out the extroverted beings that were the other two girls. Alice mostly stayed out of the way, spoke when spoken to and often reminded me of an ant. Quiet, but hardworking and determined to reach her goals.

Another thing that I liked about her was that we didn't need to fill silences. They were comfortable, harmonious, and even enjoyable. She would smile, say a soft, 'Hi', settle down in a corner, not making any noise and just _be there_. She was also the sort of person who everyone would come to in case of a problem, seeking advice, her calm voice assuring them that all would be okay - even if it all went towards hell. Which tended to happen mostly when the infamous James Potter came into the picture.

It was a well-established fact in my mind now, that as kind a person Lily was, she had absolutely no control over her temper. Or maybe it was just Potter, he knew exactly which buttons to press to have Lily spitting insults at him. None of _them_ listened to Alice.

The Gryffindor boys were also such a lot - a highly dangerous and explosive mixture of four idiots thrown together in such a way that they could cause the spontaneous combustion of the world at any moment. And I do not joke here. I swear!

McGonagall looked like it was Doomsday whenever those four found seats together in her class. Peter Pettigrew was maybe the least dangerous and least interesting of the lot. I think he was just confused about his life half the time.

James Potter, I hadn't had the fortune (or misfortune) of knowing yet. Although, from all the meals we'd had together (because yes, as a show of totally undeserving unity, the group sat together at lunch, no matter how much Lily wanted to murder Potter), I had gathered that James Potter was a bit of an obnoxious guy – even a bit of a bully. And I did _not_ do well with dealing with people with egos the size of the Black Lake. Living some time with Norse Gods, and being a niece of theirs, would do that to you. Or maybe spending time with Lily Evans did that too. So, Potter was somebody I preferred to stay rather away from.

Sirius Black, his best buddy, was a similar story. Rich family, good looks (even James, with his spectacles, was considered handsome in a dorky sort of way, while Black supported a devil-may-care attitude, which was a ridiculous reason for his charm), and brains that fetched excellent grades, were some qualities that were similar in the two Gryffindors. There was one thing that made Sirius Black more dangerous though, and that was his eyes.

By Odin, those _eyes_... I was sure, that one day, I would blabber out all my secrets because of his eyes. They were _indescribable_. They weren't blue, or even grey exactly, it was like they had a color of their own and their intensity changed constantly - his gaze was the definition of _smoldering_. They were a storm, nothing was ever fixed in them; a swirling mass of emotions - a storm of thoughts so intense, that I had lost my train of thought the few times that I had made direct contact with them. And I didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing.

So yeah, Black was the more dangerous of the two, hence why I preferred to stay away from the guy.

The last boy left, was the reason why the world hadn't exploded yet. Literally.

Remus Lupin was the person that I could call, for the fear of sounding like a loner, my best friend. Maybe it was because I had met him first of all, or maybe it was because he loved books, literature and knowledge as much as I did or maybe it was because he loved chocolate more than I did. Or maybe it was all of the above.

Remus was kind, smart, intelligent, perceptive, funny and an all-round excellent person to hang around with. He was also the only one who could control James and Sirius to the extent of not wreaking havoc in the world and just limiting it to wreaking havoc in Hogwarts.

Really, I don't know what would remain of McGonagall if he didn't manage to talk James and Sirius out of most of their substantially hazardous plans. I had heard Remus muttering angrily about the Entrance Hall being turned into an anti-gravitational mist last week, but had avoided asking because of the look on his face. I hadn't seen any of their crazier super plans in action yet, or so everyone told me, and I was rather thankful. Only hearing about them gave me an unpleasant feeling of underachievement. Knowing the God of Mischief, I rather felt like I owed the populace something and the lack of action was rather getting on my nerves.

Remus and I had hit it off rather well ever since that first day. One of the reasons was also that I had actively sought only his company from the start, refusing to properly open up to Lily and the girls. The train ride had been good but I was hesitant to talk all the time, and kept rather quiet near the group. This was until Remus had authoritatively pointed out my reluctance of their company, being the observant bastard that he was, and demanded that I rectify it that very moment, thus leading me to a whole night of getting to know the girls. It was my fifth night in the castle.

This was one weird thing about Remus - he had this authoritative side to him, which, when he exercised, was able to get everything he wanted done. Maybe it was leadership qualities or just the way he said things, in that calm way of his; not Alice-calm way, the _do-whatever-the-fuck-I-say-or-else_ calm way. The _Remus-calm_ way.

I'm not making much sense I guess but what I mean is that Remus Lupin had the knack of making people listen to him and obey him, in a compulsive sort of way. Either Remus was a highly talented individual with supernatural powers or-

Or I just overanalysed things as usual.

Anyway, I could judge later if my best friend had supernatural powers or not; just then it was time to head to Transfiguration and vanish a few kittens. I was in this belated sort of mood, the one where thinking deeply about things seems like very much fun. Not to mention, the lack of coffee in this castle did nothing to help mornings. I'd have to find out the kitchens somehow.

Anyway, I concentrated on finding a desk near the front of the class as the students filed in and took seats among the loud chatter and scraping of wood against stone. I settled into the seat beside Alice, just as Professor McGonagall walked in and the class fell silent.

The next ten minutes were spent listening intently to the strict witch as she explained how we were supposed to go about the tricky procedure.

"Now, you should work in pairs with one kitten and I request you to-"

"Professor, could I please change my seat?" A loud voice interrupted from the back of the class, and her nostrils flared furiously.

Sirius Black's voice sounded serious for once, and I detected no underlying hint of humour, though he did seem agitated, as I turned around to watch.

Peter was looking at Sirius in confusion and Remus looked worried for some reason, though he kept his expression neutral as he turned his gaze away from Sirius' head, who was standing in front of him. James, who had been sitting beside Sirius, had furrowed his brow and was glaring at the desk, head bent.

McGonagall seemed thrown by the turn of events - after all, the four boys were always looking for opportunities like this one to cause mischief. I might have thought of this as a prank too, if not for James' and Remus' expressions. The Professor seemed to realize this too and recovered quickly, still considering the boys a bit suspiciously.

"Of course, Mr. Black, if you must, you may as well exchange your place with... ah, Miss Prewett, if you wish?"

Wait... _what?_

No- Alice?

_Shit!_ I widened my eyes in panic, considering stopping Alice, but that would just be ridiculous, wouldn't it? Of course, it'd be. Hell, this is ridiculous. Why was I even panicking? It's just Sirius. Black. With those eyes. No. No panicking. Stop. Breathe.

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, managing to give Alice a smile, which had surely come out as a grimace, as she picked up her stuff and exchanged seats with the tall Gryffindor boy. His movements were agitated as he moved across the length of the room, dumped his bag on the floor and set his books in front of him, adopting a rigid posture as the Professor told us to take one animal for each desk.

I waited for Sirius to say something, to ask, but he didn't do anything and just stared at the desk some more, so I took the initiative.

"Shall I?" my voice came out more gravelly than I had expected, but Sirius nodded his head once, not looking up. "Seriously, what is it with you and James and desks?" I blurted out before thinking, and gasped, cursing myself mentally.

Before he could look up fully, I scurried away quickly, mentally berating myself. Way to go and insult him, again. What had happened to my brain to mouth filter? It seemed to have collapsed momentarily. I took as much time as I possibly could to get the kitten from the front of the class, but I could only stall so much.

Setting the innocent creature on the desk in front of me, I reluctantly turned my body half towards him, indicating that I was about to initiate conversation, beginning by saying sorry. I had just opened my mouth, when-

"Do you hate me?"

I gaped at the dark-haired boy in front of me, who, by the way, was still glaring at the desk, or so I thought until - icy blue eyes met mine, with an unexpected intensity of emotion on his face.

Sirius Black looked _vulnerable_.

I snapped my mouth closed, realizing that I must resemble a goldfish currently, with slightly bugged out eyes and gaping mouth.

"N-No. Of course not. I didn't mean that last remark, I'm sorry." I managed, and he nodded again. My comment didn't seem to have affected him that much.

He still remained deep in thought, until he looked at me again- "You're new, right? You've known me for over a month now, what kind of person do you think I am?"

The question caught me unawares, my eyebrows rose upwards skeptically, and my immediate thought was what I had been thinking before class had started. But somehow, this matter seemed to be different. What was happening? As far as I knew, Sirius Black was not like this. He was the kind that didn't care what people in general thought about him, right?

Right?

And suddenly, I was worried. As I remembered Remus' expression, it struck me – had something happened? At his home, maybe, or a fight with James?

"What kind of question is that? Sirius, is everything okay?"

Before I knew it, my voice had turned concerned and I lightly touched his arm, pushing him in an effort to turn him to face me. Even if I didn't know the guy that well, he was Remus' best friend and he was clearly hurt or upset by something that the other boys had done. Or hadn't, maybe... Damn, this was confusing!

"It's a question type of question, what else? And what do you mean, okay? Why wouldn't everything be just smashing?" he replied, voice full of disdain. He looked at my hand on his arm, and I blushed suddenly, removing it hastily. I saw him staring at my face, before I decided that looking down at the desk to gather my thoughts was a good idea. That's when I understood what it was with the desk.

"Well, what I mean," I said, "is that you're not this person, like you're behaving right now. James is your best friend and if you changed your seat, that means either you're fighting with him or hiding something from them, which is curious, seeing as you're very close with them all. So yeah, one of those things happened, so I meant to ask what was wrong. Plus, you wouldn't ask those kind of questions to a stranger like me- I've known you for only a month. Mary or Alice might be better options. Anyway, my simple words didn't manage to break through your skull though, obviously."

Yeah, bit of sarcasm, always brightens things up.

I looked up towards the end of my tirade to see Sirius looking at me like I was a loon or something. His mouth was slightly agape and his brow was still furrowed, as though contemplating my words, though something had shifted in his eyes for sure. They seemed lighter.

"Mr. Black, Ms. Odinson, I believe you have not even started the work yet. Is this a deliberate-"

"Oh relax Professor," Sirius cut her off again, though the Professor's lips thinned in a more dangerous way, noticing his tone. "You know that I've vanished the cat and back again. No need to get your wand in a knot."

I was surprised to hear the cockiness back in his voice, suddenly, out of nowhere, and that underlying irritatingly amused tone he adopted just for McGonagall.

"And you, Ms. Odinson?" The Professor turned expectantly to me and I flicked my wand, muttering the spell, mimicking the exact wand movement and picturing how I wanted the cushion to look.

The kitten vanished completely, I could see a furry outline, but hopefully, the Proffessor could not. I smirked to myself, confident that she could not, and looked at the Professor challengingly.

"Ten points from Gryffindor for cheek, Black." she said, and stalked away.

"What a hypocrite." I muttered sourly. She hadn't even awarded me any points, and just knocked off Sirius' even if he didn't do anything. He hadn't even proved that he'd done the spell!

"Nah. She just loves me too much." Sirius grinned easily, and I felt something in my stomach shift slightly at the amused sparkle in his eyes. How had he even heard that?

"So you're going to tell me what's wrong?" I approached again, to get that sparkle away if nothing else.

His grin faltered a little but he continued smiling. "No," he said quietly, "Thank you, though, for that enlightening speech."

"Anytime, Black." I nodded, if a little confused, my mind still fuzzy with that smile.

At that moment, the bell rang and we packed our bags in silence, though I was burning to ask the question again. Sirius looked nervously at the three boys waiting for him with varying expressions of impatience and worry. He schooled his expression into one of indifference and walked determinedly towards his friends, not looking back once, as he strode out of the class.

I felt Alice, Lily and Mary stand beside me as the classroom emptied. The words were out of my mouth before I could think twice.

"What just happened?"

**Well, what do you think?**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I cornered Remus after the last class of the day, potions. Remus was always the first one out of the dungeons, not able to bear the smell of the different ingredients, I suppose. I followed him immediately, telling Lily shortly to take my bag and books with her to the common room.

"Remus! Hey, wait up!" I jogged towards him, pushing through the crowd and smiled warmly as we began walking out together.

"Hello Evy, what's up?"

"Nothing with me. Same boring old, except maybe, you'd like to explain what happened this morning?"

He knew what I was talking about, of course- Transfiguration class. Everything had been back to normal at Lunch, they had joked as usual and the girls has dismissed it too, seeing the boys back in their irritating element, as they guffawed loudly at one of James' stupid jokes. Sirius had laughed freely too, more so than the past days, dare I say it. And that was _exactly_ what had been bugging me.

"Ah yes, about that." Remus looked about fervently before continuing, "I wanted to ask you about the same thing. But... uh, maybe we should have this conversation in private."

"We can take one of my routes to the Common Room, if you're headed there?"

"Yeah, how do you even know about that?" he asked, exasperated, as I turned into an unexpected corridor which was empty.

"Not so soon. My question first." I grinned, and he shook his head, before turning to me solemnly.

"So, I don't know if you're aware about this, but there are members of the wizarding world who look down upon the education of half-blood and muggleborn children at Hogwarts, followers of Salazar Slytherin, who believed in pureblood supremacy."

I raised an eyebrow at him, what was his point?

"Yes, I'm aware about them." I nodded, and added hastily at his raised brows, "My Uncle told me about the racism in the British wizards. I'm still kinda surprised how no-one's asked me about my blood status yet. I'm a muggleborn, by the way."

"I'm a half-blood. So you know what kind of views the blood supremacists have. Sirius' parents are like that. They are quite... uh, passionate about their views and he has been fed all this nonsense about the superiority of purebloods and how everyone else is just pure filth."

His voice was filled with disgust as he explained this to me and I was struggling to understand how this ascertained to today's situation, as Sirius seemed nothing like his family.

"Sirius disagreed with them, obviously. And he was always vocal about it. I don't even know who managed to strike sense into him the first time – probably his cousin Andy. Anyway, the whole Black family had been sorted into Slytherin before he came to Hogwarts, and he was sorted into Gryffindor. There was pin-drop silence in the hall when the hat shouted 'Gryffindor!' I still remember the day very well. James started clapping, breaking the silence and then everyone followed."

Remus was smiling slightly now, probably remembering that day. Then he sighed, and continued.

"There's this guy called Voldemort who's been stirring trouble these past few years. I'd say it's deeper shit than trouble, and he's been gathering followers slowly. All the Slytherin families support his cause and most of them are joining his ranks. Even the kids at Hogwarts are aware about this, _especially_ the older Slytherins. And I'd say there are a few wanna-be death eaters in our year too."

I hummed in response, pondering over the facts and wondering why the hell anyone would like to call themselves 'Death Eaters'. "So the Blacks must be deep into this thing too. Is that why Sirius has been upset?"

"Yes. Kind-of. If Sirius had been eating up their nonsense as they served it to him, by now he would be a candidate for sign up. Thing is, he hates it. He _hates_ them Evy. The concept used to be beyond my grasp, how one can hate their family, but Sirius does. And he's right in it, too. I don't think they treat him well at home, and not just mental violence and torture."

Remus looked at me meaningfully as he said it; he looked like he was having trouble controlling himself - his hands were balled into fists and he was breathing deeply.

"Anyway, Sirius got a letter this morning from his mother. It was before we went down for breakfast and he didn't let us read it, burnt it immediately after. We'd been trying to make him talk since then but he didn't utter a word. He even missed Herbology and came in straight for Transfiguration. James kept trying but then you saw what happened."

"_What kind of person do you think I am?"_

I realized what Sirius had been on about during the day, and then remembered how I had said something that matched the situation exactly,_completely_ co-incidently. Huh.

"But he'd sobered up after Transfiguration and James had a talk with him before coming to lunch. James does have quite a way with words, after all. He's been fine ever since. It actually happens every year, I've noticed - he remains moody for at least a month before reverting back to his original ways. I can't even begin to imagine what it must be like for him in that hell hole. Anyway, your turn."

I cleared my throat before telling Remus about my short conversations with Sirius and he listened with a smile. I kept it short, as we had reached the Gryffindor tower. I remembered to keep my voice flat, all the talk about family had made some unwelcome memories rise to my thoughts.

"Well, thank Merlin for your unexpectedly wise advice. Sirius seems to be back to normal. And I'm glad, I don't know if I could handle his brooding another day."

"Wait, unexpectedly wise advice?" I narrowed my eyes at the grinning boy as we climbed inside the portrait hole. As soon as we entered the common room, the sight that met my eyes was _not_ pleasant. Sitting on a couch in a wide corner, tangled with an unrecognizable blonde, was Sirius Black, snogging the girl for all she was worth. I felt a swooping sensation in my stomach, it seemed like it wanted to fall out. My heart thrummed loudly in my ears, and I breathed deeply in order to settle the unusual sensations.

"As I said, back to normal." Remus said, with a hint of exasperation, and continued to walk towards the armchairs by the fireplace, where most of our friends were seated, talking or doing homework. I followed him quietly, my teeth clenched together, determined not to look back at the hideous sight.

* * *

I am a shy girl by nature. I don't like to speak much and would prefer the company of a book, curled up in a safe comforter in the depths of my bed. My flat back home in London was my safe haven. I rarely got out much and possessed most of the luxuries at the place. My bed back home had the most beautiful and softest silk sheets. Since Uncle had the resource for it, he never ceased to spoil me with such pleasures. Plus, it was always incredibly warm - just like a heating charm on the sheets, covers, pillows and just about everything, but more intense and perhaps, a wider time range, since it didn't fade. Ever.

Due to such, uh... circumstances, I'd developed a rather embarrassing routine while sleeping. I sleep naked.

Now this was not a problem in my scarcely populated flat, which was in London, but here at Hogwarts, which lies in Scotland, mind you, it was an entirely different story altogether.

September wasn't that bad. The days were warm and nights were cool at best. The start of October was accompanied by cool days and chilly nights. I managed these too. This evening, however, the clouds had formed a dark cover, gloomy looking, much like my mood and were crackling threatningly. Much like myself.

By dinner, there was a slight drizzle and right now, as I lay fully clothed on my bed, I was concious of the heavy rain banging loudly on the window. And of course, the chill was now a freeze.

This meant only one thing to me- I could not strip to my skimpy undergarments and just roll into these cold sheets in this weather. The sheets would take forever to warm or probably they would never be warm enough with only body heat.

The trouble, as you might have guessed, was that I did not know the heating or warm air charm, wandless or otherwise. I had never required it before, and hence, never felt the need to learn.

I sighed a baleful and long sigh. It probably sounded like I was doing meditation.

There was obviously only one solution. I'd have to go downstairs to the Common Room and ask one of the girls or the boys.

I had spent about fifteen minutes in the Common Room, fighting with my conflicting feelings, before thankfully heading down to Dinner early with a very hungry Remus. He didn't chew food, that boy. He just... sort of, inhaled it I suppose. He always had second shifts though, so I was able to almost finish in time.

Anyway, by the time the others arrived, we were almost done and I had said final goodnights to everyone. Leaving Remus to try to get some work done in the empty Common Room, I had headed up to the dormitory. No one had come up, but the time I had spent silently listening to music to get out of the foul mood I had felt myself seep into was quite long, I was sure of it.

I held up the music player before my face. It was an 11th birthday present from both my Uncles. It was made of dark brown wood, pine I suspect, and about the size of a small notepad.

In the front was carved the 'Valknut' symbol of Odin, and it glowed a dim green around the edges when I touched it for too long. Or just rubbed it. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure how it worked. Even though I had added all my collection of songs into it and it held a huge number, I wasn't quite sure about the technicalities. I just thought about the song I wanted to play and it glowed happily and obeyed. I did not know where they had procured it from, or made it, though I was betting on the latter because Hogwarts magic didn't interfere with it. And I could not be more glad about it.

I heaved a huge sigh again and sat up grudgingly, and decided to head downstairs towards the Common Room, hoping to catch one of the girls' eyes and call them upstairs.

I stopped right at the bottom of the stairs, mostly out of everyone's line of sight until they specifically looked. Thankfully, Lily was facing my side and I flayed my arms widely, trying to catch her attention.

I finally managed to catch her eye, and Alice's and Remus' as well in the process, after about a minute of imitating a drowning bird. I tried mouthing 'Come here', 'Come upstairs', 'Come to dorm', etc. but her expression only turned more quizzical with every minute. I hoped either Remus or Alice would take the hint and-

"Evy! I don't speak facial expressions yet! Come out here, why don't you?"

_Fuck you, Lily._

I shot her the most dangerous glare I could muster, while stalking my way to the group by the fireplace. Everyone seemed to have halted their work - thankfully, no Ravenclaw bimbo was in sight and Black's tongue was back where it belonged. And he was looking towards me too.

So much for warm beds.

"I was talking to Alice, by the way, and just asking to come up to the dorm because I needed help with something." I said, rather snappishly, to Lily, as soon as I was in hearing distance.

She looked surprised for a moment, raised an eyebrow at me, and then shrugged. "Fine. Just thought you should say something instead of trying to convey it with your arms flying about and looking like a loon for the last five minutes."

I clenched my fists, and the music player dug into my palm suddenly. I looked down in surprise, having forgotten I had bought it along.

"Alice, would you mind?" I said rather rudely, ignoring Lily and stuffing the wood into my pocket. Alice nodded and stood up, ready to follow-

"What is that?" Sirius spoke up suddenly, indicating towards my hand, which stilled halfway inside my pocket.

Uh oh.

"What is what?" I replied, feigning ignorance, taking my hand out hurriedly. But the damage was done. Sirius got up and strode haughtily to me, stopping too close, that annoying smirk on his face, and slipped his hand into my pocket -

I gasped in surprise, but caught his wrist before he could extract it completely. He looked at me with a frown, before trying to tug it back.

What an incorrigible _arse_.

"Stop it, Black." I spat, tightening my grip. I knew this would be hurting him - I was known to have a strong grip for a girl – being half Asgardian and whatnot.

"What the hell, Odinson?" He snapped, trying to free his wrist, having relinquished his hold on my property.

"I don't appreciate you sneaking your filthy hands in my pockets Black."

The situation was getting to my head now, and I felt anger taking the place of frustration of the last half hour.

"Well, I was just curious about what it is. And now about why you're so possessive over it." He said, rubbing his wrist lightly, his eyes lingering over my face for the longest time.

"Well, that's not your business, is it? So fuck off." I said with more heat than the situation warranted. Bloody idiot.

"Come on Alice."

I strode purposefully towards the stairs back to the dorm, Alice's soft steps following patiently.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that." I apologized as soon as we had entered the dorm.

Alice smiled in that way if hers and shrugged easily. "No worries, Evy. What was it that you wanted me for? I have that Herbology essay to finish."

"Well, I was wondering if you know the heating charm? And if you could teach me?"

She looked confused but it would have to do since I didn't particularly want to share my sleeping habits with anyone, even if it was just Alice.

She agreed eventually and it was a work of fifteen minutes as she showed me the spell and the precise wand movements. I thanked her gratefully and she brushed it away as usual and left the dorm, but only after suggesting that I seriously needed to keep my temper in check.

I rolled my eyes at her back and retreated to the bathroom to get ready for the night. Seriously though, my temper was quite volatile when I came to think of it. It always reared its nasty head when it was the most unprecedented moment. I would confess that today's show was one of these but then, what Black had tried to do was also an invasion of privacy, it was.

I looked in the mirror closely before walking out, remembering the way he had been staring at my face earlier. I checked for any smudges or ink marks or blotches, but it was clean. There was a slight blush upon my cheeks, my body not much used to the sudden cold of Scotland. It had been a permanent thing for some time though, so I dismissed the matter and thankfully cast the heating charm between my sheets before crawling in and claiming some much needed rest.

**So, review please?**


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The next morning dawned bright and beautiful. The sky was a clear, perfect blue, like it had been freshly laundered, which it obviously had been. I felt my spirits rise as I gazed out of the window at the beautiful scene of the Hogwarts grounds. It looked like something out of an artist's drawing – all bright green, dark brown and snowy blue near the horizon. On a whim, I made up my mind to spend the entire time before breakfast out in the open, while there were least people awake.

Rolling out of bed, I made quick work of the shower - the sleep last night had freshened me up a lot- all thanks to Alice's heating charm. I decided not to change into uniform yet, and put on a pair of blue shorts along with a tank top, and a dark green sweat over it. I fished out the leather boots too - the ground was bound to be wet. I quickly pulled out the Transfiguration book that I had recently borrowed from the Library – A Detailed Study of Animagi Around the World – it included everything from preparations to aftereffects to laws regarding the transformation in different countries, everything that is, except the process itself. That was okay with me though, I loved the concept and was obsessed with the possibilities, but I wasn't actually looking towards turning myself into an animal.

I almost skipped to the castle doors from the Gryffindor common room, taking the longest route. It was just six o'clock yet and I was also looking forward to finding new potential reading spots inside the castle. The grounds were just as I had predicted – cold and wet. The air was cool on my warm skin and my shoes squelched as I tried to keep close to the pavement. The scenery was magnificent from here too - the sloping grounds were covered with shining wet grass and the Gamekeeper's hut was silhouetted beautifully against the dark forest. I headed along that way, and spent about an hour and some more in a well-hidden alcove with a perfect view of the grounds.

Students slowly coming out of the castle and roaming the grounds with bits of breakfast in their hands were what made me conscious of the time. Closing my book reluctantly, I made my way back towards the castle, receiving lingering glances and sideway stares from the students as I passed – probably due to the odd assortment of clothes, or maybe the hair, which I hadn't combed yet.

I passed more people inside the castle, and the staring was getting incredulous. I grinned brightly at people who managed to make eye contact, which then promptly led them to look away embarrassedly, which amused me greatly so I grinned more. I finally made it to the Gryffindor tower, just as a couple of fourth years were leaving. They stared at my legs for a moment and one had the gall to whistle, to which I replied with a very not-happy finger, after which they scampered away.

My three dorm mates were standing at the end of the staircase to the girls' dormitory, talking fretfully to Remus, when I entered the Common Room. Their attention turned immediately to me, and relief broke out on their faces, while Remus shook his head, looking amused.

"You could have said something, before disappearing off! We were so worried, we thought something had happened to you! That you were kidnapped or something! Don't you ever do that again." Lily almost screamed as I walked forward, and ended her rant by throwing herself on me and giving me short, but very tight hug, as soon as I was within hugging distance. I raised my eyebrows at this, and Alice smiled apologetically over her shoulders.

"Lily was just filling me in when you arrived- about how you had _magically_ disappeared." Remus said drily and grinned, as Lily glared disapprovingly at him.

"Oh but Lily, didn't anyone tell you? You're at Hogwarts. The School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ring a bell?" I smirked, and she rolled her eyes as she nudged me.

"Yes, yes. Very funny. I was just worried. I couldn't find you anywhere and we generally go down together for breakfast, no matter how annoyingly early you get up. Plus, after last night I thought…"

"Well, whatever you thought wasn't right, was it? I'm sorry for being a bitch last night but now I'm famished." I stated in a very matter-of-fact tone, ensuring that there were no hard feelings. "Get down to-"

"Oh my God."

It was Mary. She was eyeing my clothes as if they had done some personal wrong to her. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look in… in _that_?" she pointed disgustedly towards my attire, but I was in too bright a mood to be offended and rolled my eyes exasperatedly, _again_. I opened my mouth to retort when Alice widened her eyes and shook her head minimally, and Lily responded with a half-grimace. Remus watched with a mask of polite interest, trying so hard not to break his façade and laugh that I could see his eyes watering.

"Oh fine. I'll change it. Just you be happy." I said, and Mary looked sadly at me, as if I was a doomed creature, just because I didn't share her fashion sense. Okay, didn't _have_ a fashion sense. I rolled my eyes and told them I'd meet them in the Hall, ignoring Mary's inconspicuous muttering. As I started towards the staircase, I could see James and Sirius descending the boys' and quickened my pace, so that they just saw me before I disappeared up.

I was conscious of the fact that I was wearing just shorts and had not forgotten the incident of last night. My anger at Sirius had almost vanished, and in my good spirit, I was even contemplating putting the argument behind us, if he so willed. Lily was different, we didn't require official apologies but I doubted it would be the same with Sirius. We weren't _that_ close. Or even, a little bit close. Nada.

* * *

I dressed quickly, and managed to get to breakfast just in time, sliding in beside Alice, "Morning all."

Half-hearted and terse 'Morning's made their way back to me and I looked up to see the others exchanging glances, looking pointedly between me and Sirius, who was on the opposite side to me next to James, and seemed perfectly happy to ignore me. I decided to follow his example and thankfully Mary spoke up immediately.

"What's with the hair, Evy?" There was definite disapproval in her voice, and Lily and Alice sighed almost at the same time. I tried to flatten my hair half-heartedly, shrugging to her question, while piling up some food. "Forgot to comb."

"Well, it looks like Potter's nest today. Please, I'm begging you, do not go to class like that." ("Hey!" James spluttered).

I rolled my eyes at her, "Chill love. I'll do it later. Don't worry about it." I smiled at her, but she didn't return it.

This was ridiculous. I would have to actually comb it if it meant really that much to Mary. I would have been irritated at her if not for the honest _sadness_ in her voice. Mary paid most attention to what everyone was wearing, and it was her duty to keep everyone up to date on the on goings in the fashion world. Her side of the dorm was always strewn with Witch Weekly articles or cut outs and whatnot. The girls had long ago learnt not to cross Mary on this aspect, and I had been warned fairly early but this was the first instance.

The morning conversation turned to idle chatter, though Mary still seemed down. I made a point to get my hands on a comb as soon as possible. Almost as we were finished, Sirius asked nobody in particular to pass some butter, and I being closest, complied. He looked up, and nodded his thanks silently, with the smallest of smiles. As he did, I noticed the wrist of his right hand, as he grabbed the butter, and an uncomfortable sensation swooped in my stomach, slowly spreading upwards.

It was blue and swollen and I could make it out from a distance. I gulped the piece of food in my mouth with difficulty; my gut seemed to have contracted. I remembered my tight grip last night, not thinking twice about it in all the anger, and realized again the implications. I had physically hurt him. Knowingly abused. My stomach gave another turn to send food back up.

My hands shook as I played with the little food for a moment, before measuring my voice and saying, as quietly as possible, "You should have that looked at." I looked pointedly at his wrist.

He heard, but so did James, Remus and Alice. Their conversation died out and they looked between us quietly.

"I hadn't even really noticed until now." Sirius' voice was surprised as he said these words. "I'm used to small bruises." He added casually, chuckling, and there was a bitter edge to his voice. It made my hair stand on end.

The conversation with Remus came to my mind and my hands gripped the spoon very tightly. I hurriedly put the last bits of food into my mouth, lest I say something horrendous.

It marked the end of breakfast, as the group got up as one and everyone made their way to the first class of the day collectively. I signaled Remus to go on, taking a detour towards the Hospital Wing.

I remembered well when I was bruised and there was no one to take the pain away. It had needed getting used to but that didn't mean that I was going to let Sirius go through that, especially when I knew that I had put it there. The fact that he hadn't even noticed the injury until I pointed it out, was only strengthening Remus' theory of what he had to endure back home. I wanted to break something at the thought.

I managed to convince the school nurse that Lily had accidently caught her wrist under a trunk and I needed the salve for her. I wrapped the small bottle in brown paper after leaving the Hospital Wing, formulating a plan on how to drop it in Sirius' bag or pocket.

* * *

My chance to fulfill my mission came right before lunch, when we were gathered around the fireplace in the Common Room, whiling away a free. Only Remus, Sirius, Lily and I were there, the ones with frees, while the others were in electives, James and Alice in Muggle Studies, I think and Mary in Care of Magical Creatures. But I couldn't be sure; it was all very confusing and hard to remember.

Lily was crouched over the table and was writing something, probably homework, and I was propped up against the side of her armchair, feet out towards the fire, as near as they could get. It tickled. Remus had a book in his hand and Sirius was lying across the biggest couch, seemingly asleep with one arm over his face. I was lazily twirling my wand and practicing Transfiguration, idly thinking about turning someone's pillow into a kitten, but sticking to shuffling interesting shapes of logs which hadn't burnt yet.

My mind was wandering though, and I thought about the tall boy lying on the couch. A lot. I was curious, naturally, about why he was 'used to small bruises'. Sirius wasn't the quiet sort of boy. He was loud and outgoing, especially when there was an audience, and was generally well liked by everyone. Even the professors, who in spite of dishing out almost daily detentions to them, seemed still quite fond of the trouble making little group of the Gryffindor boys.

When they were by themselves though, he was less loud. It wasn't like I was stalking him or whatever but there were few moments that James could spend away from Lily. That meant that if they were sitting away from us, it was only a matter of time before James found an excuse to join in. The others naturally followed. That was when I noticed that he seemed comparatively less loud when it was just us, the Gryffindors. If, on the other hand, there was something that required the attention of the whole Common Room, he was spokesperson, and James automatically took a back step.

So, he was not the kind of person to sit back and watch quietly if he saw something wrong happening. He was even intelligent, good in schoolwork, even though he hardly tried. So, it wasn't like he was dumb. And was definitely not the type for self harm. So why had he gotten 'used to small bruises'? It was irksome to me, not knowing why he would let something like that happen.

I sighed. It wasn't like I could ask him, as I had already mentioned that we weren't close. Hell, we hadn't even had a proper conversation. That was James, Sirius and Peter for me; I hadn't gotten the chance to actually _talk_ to any of them. Who was I kidding though? Remus had a _theory_ and not actual information. This was when he was very close to Sirius, from what I saw of their tuning amongst themselves. So clearly, _I_ didn't stand a chance.

I looked towards the brown haired bookworm, to see him staring at me. I cocked an eyebrow. _What?_

His eyes flickered once towards Sirius, with that deliberate look and then settled back on me. I furrowed my brows, feigning confusion and he narrowed his eyes, before looking pointedly towards Sirius' form again and then at me. I narrowed my eyes at him - if he expected me to _talk_, he was sorely mistaken. I huffed silently and looked pointedly into the fire, ignoring his burning stares.

Okay, so I was curious, but that didn't mean that I would let go of my self-respect and apologize to the git. It was him who had started the whole thing with his invasion of privacy; I had acted purely out of self defense. My stomach churned guiltily as I remembered breakfast, and I had to admit, I _had_ acted a bit rashly. Only a bit. I remembered the brown package in my left pocket and stole a quick glance towards Remus - he was intent on his book. I slipped the small bottle into my hand and got up silently. Without looking at him, I quickly moved past the back of Sirius' couch, where his robes were lying since he had removed them, and stopping for less than a second, managed to slip the ointment into his pocket, before walking calmly to the staircase without a backward glance.

* * *

When I climbed back down after a few minutes, after having collected books for Herbology, which I had forgotten we had today, there was an enlightened buzz in the common room and I realized the others must have come back before heading to lunch. James, Mary, Alice and Peter had entered just as I did, and James and Mary in particular, looked quite excited about something.

"Did you hear? They've put up notices for the first match!" James' voice was incredibly excited as he spouted this bit of information and pushed Sirius off the couch to make room for him and Peter.

"What? When? How didn't we get the notice before?" Sirius exclaimed, righting himself on the ground, and looking up at James with wide eyes.

"They put up the notice in the Entrance Hall just now, it's not even up in the Common Rooms yet." Mary said, sitting beside Lily, a grin stretched across her face.

"Oh, this is amazing! Quidditch season is ON!" Sirius grinned, high-fiving James.

"Alright… Will anyone explain what's going on?" I said finally, interrupting James, Sirius and Mary's fangirling, and the three- no, almost everyone in the group- looked up at me with wide eyes, like I had grown an extra head.

"Evy, you do know what quidditch is, right?" James asked in a voice which suggested he would never forgive me if I didn't.

I rolled my eyes at his dramatics, "Of course, idiot. I lived in muggle London, not under a rock."

James heaved a huge dramatic sigh of relief, and I nudged him with my shoulder, falling in the centre of James and Peter on the huge couch, "I know what Quidditch is and I knew that British wizards are rather fond of the game, I just didn't realize you played it seriously at Hogwarts too."Sure, I vaguely remembered some announcements regarding trials, etc. but I hadn't really thought about it.

"Well, we do." Mary said, "There are four teams, according to house-"

"Of course there are." I muttered to myself. It was one drawback of Hogwarts school - they were really high on house rivalry.

"-and there are games scheduled during the whole year and the team which has the maximum points at the end of the year gets awarded the Quidditch Cup."

I nodded; it did sound exciting and I had always wanted to learn to fly a broom. Living in a London flat didn't really help me in fulfilling that dream. I felt the need to hide this fact here, not sure if James would survive the knowledge of this information.

"Have you ever been to a match, then?" said boy asked curiously and I shook my head - I didn't really have time for sports, until now.

He grinned at me then, and I suddenly didn't like it very much. "Well, we'll have to fix that then, won't we?"

Before I could do anything much other than frown confusedly, James skipped off to talk to a burly seventh year across the room, who seemed to share his excitement on the news and after a few minutes of talk, left the room.

James returned and addressed Sirius immediately, voice full of glee- "Jones decided he's holding the first practice today. Just went off to book the pitch before anyone else. He was ecstatic I told him so early. We'll have a head start on all the other teams."

"And we'll need it." Mary said, grinning and rubbing her hands, "The first game of the season is Gryffindor versus Slytherin in two weeks."

This elicited another round of cheering from the three and even Peter and Remus seemed to perk up at this. Lily, who had abandoned her homework in favor of talking to Alice, also looked interested.

"Are we allowed to watch the practices?" I asked, despite myself.

"Of course we are! And you have to watch Evy. Especially you! Promise me you'll come today." Mary said seriously and I laughed in response.

"Of course I will. I _have_ to see what's got you three wetting your pants in excitement." I grinned and then collapsed into giggles at the expressions on their faces.

**What do you think? Good, bad? Okay?**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

So that evening, I realized that I had been a bit hasty in judging this lot of boys. All theories that I had about the four boys were thrown out of the window soon; at least the typical ones. Sirius, for one, was not a really that much of a bully, or even, like, a loud person. He was just _moody_. That day, at lunch, for example, he wasn't talking much. But I was done worrying about him; hopefully, he would find the ointment soon. He was overzealous and loud only when he was happy and other times, well, as I said, moody. Peter, on the other hand, was clever when he wanted to be. The boy had a tongue made like a slick blade. He could talk really harsh when he wanted, and the insults he came up with sometimes, earned him my grudging respect.

James, I realized, as I followed him out into the stands, was an absolute _kid_ when it came to Quidditch. As I recalled, I had never had much of a proper conversation with the guy, but I could see it happening soon in the future. He would not _shut up _about it.

"Didyougetit didyougetit didyougetit?" he asked, now walking backwards, facing me, though I couldn't see him because the evening sun was glaring into my eyes.

"Yesyesyes James," I laughed, catching his shoulders and turning him around the right way again, "I got how the game works. Now I do hope you shoot your goals in your own hoops and not in the other team's."

He puffed out his chest and righted his glasses pompously, "I will let you know Odinson, that I have been on the team since my second year. That makes it three years, and never once, even _once_, have I missed a shot _ever_."

I whistled. I _was_ impressed. But the obnoxious git next to me didn't have to know that. "We'll see when you get up in the air, boy."

"We'll see." He agreed morosely, and then grinned. "This is so exciting!" he shouted suddenly, and did an up and down sort of jig. The messy haired idiot looked so happy, I couldn't help but laugh and join in his shouting, "I know right! I'm excited too! Play well for me!"

He grinned, just as someone shouted from behind us, "God you two! Shut your trumpets! Some of us have ears!"

It was Lily, beside a laughing Mary and shaking-his-head Remus. God, did that boy never crick his neck doing that?

James' hand automatically went to his hair, and he looked surprised for a second. Then he opened his mouth to say the inevitable 'Alright, Evans?' but I elbowed him in the ribs, so he grunted in pain instead.

"I'll be watching you to check if you're actually as good as you brag you are." I grinned and then, giving him a half-hug, whispered, "She's watching too so don't screw it up."

And I swear by Odin, the boy did not. James scored each and every time the quaffle was thrown towards him and I wondered why they even bothered getting him to practice. Remus, on one side of me, was shouting every time James scored, and was basically leading the scarce audience in cheering. I was sure I would be deaf from one ear for the rest of my life because, hell, the boy had a set of _lungs_. Lily on my other side, had her face screwed up. It looked like she was trying very hard not to be impressed and I smirked to Mary, who was sitting beside Lily, and who seemed to have noticed the same thing.

Sirius was up there too, practicing his work as a Beater and I finally understood how he had that set of muscles, even after occasionally raiding Remus' chocolate supply every week, which the latter lost no instance to complaint about.

The practice ended at around seven, which was just in time for dinner. The team would come back later, after changing and the rest of us headed down the seats. Remus and Mary were ahead of me, arguing about which team was most likely to win the cup this year. Mary was completely in denial of Ravenclaw's better chances, who, according to Remus, had loads of better players than last year.

They were a few paces ahead of me, as I was busy watching the darkly colored sky, which looked like someone had deliberately painted horizontal strokes of dark orange and pink. I had just taken the last step, when suddenly, I tripped.

What the-?

On thin air?

I broke the fall with my hands, and quickly rolled onto my side, looking down towards my feet, wondering how the hell I had managed to fall on _nothing_. That's when I noticed, that my laces were tied and I frowned, confused. I was just walking fine, how-?

I felt myself pushed straight back on the floor- frozen. Immobilized. I tried to move, but it was of no use; and I was silently panicking my brain into numbness – My eyes were scanning the skies, which were suddenly darker, the sun having set some time ago.

I suddenly felt the air around me shifting – whoever this was, had disillusioned themselves because I could see something move as I felt someone grab my feet. I tried to struggle or make a noise – anything, but to no use. I was starting to panic completely now.

Why would someone kidnap me like this? My thoughts strayed to Sirius as I was dragged silently behind the stands, albeit slowly, so I didn't hurt my head too much. Sirius had been surly even at practice and I wondered if he was trying to take revenge on me – I had insulted and hurt him _twice_ now.

My heart thumped wildly as whoever it was, pushed me into a sort of shed right under the stands- there were racing brooms and cleaning brooms, and buckets and other things under there and I wanted to get out of place immediately.

"I'm going to remove the charm, and if you scream- I'll stick your tongue inside your mouth forever."

It was a male voice and it wasn't Sirius. It was slightly husky and it stirred something in my memory but it was very, very old. A figure of a boy in Hogwarts robes appeared right on top of me but I couldn't make out his house. He had dark and shaggy hair – unkept to the extent of somewhere between James' and mine.

As soon as he waved his wand, I opened my mouth immediately, but was smothered by a large hand on it.

"Now, you'll only answer when I ask-" he started, and then laughed suddenly, as I licked his palm. "That tickles!" There was something achingly familiar about that laugh but I couldn't place it – it reminded me of sunlight, woods and apple pudding. _What_ was going on?

He removed his palm with a look that I couldn't place, mostly because I couldn't really see his face in the dark. "Who are you?" he said, calmer than before.

"Shouldn't you be confirming the identity of the person _before_ you kidnap them?" I grunted, huffing as I sat up quickly and dusted myself off.

He looked at me for a second and then scoffed, pulling a bench towards him- "I know your name Evelyn. I just want to confirm the surname. I wasn't sure about that one."

I frowned, as my stomach shifted uncomfortably. What did this have to do with my family background? "Evelyn Odinson. If that's all you needed to know, you could have asked someone."

He looked at me with raised eyebrows before casting a lumos and I copied him so that his face was more visible. I narrowed my eyes as I surveyed him, and the knowing look in his eyes. "Do I look familiar?" he smirked, sitting on the dirty bench and smiling at me in invitation.

I knew him. I knew his face, I knew his voice, I knew his smile, but it wasn't from Hogwarts. I didn't know what house he was in, but his face used to much chubbier, even though his cheeks were still the same, and his hair were still the same. He had small dark eyes, and a longish square face, with a broad chin. It was distinct but I couldn't remember his _name_.

"You do. What's your name?"

He smiled fully then, and it was almost in front in me like a news flash. "Andrew Patil."

I felt myself forced down on the bench with the realization- "Andrew Patil? As in _my cousin_ Andrew Patil from India?!"

He nodded as he smirked, "And are you really Evelyn Odinson, too? As in my muggleborn mother's muggle sister Katerina's _muggle_ daughter Evelyn Odinson?"

I smiled sheepishly and said, "Fine. You win." Then added, before he could ask the inevitable questions, "Yes, but how is this possible? _You_ are a wizard? That is completely unbelievable!" I grinned at him, ruffling his hair, and he grinned back.

Andrew's family had been my favorite one to visit. And now I understood it – it was always because of the magic. Then, I'd only thought it was because Uncle Nathan and Aunt Adelie were very cool people and that Aunt made the best cakes and puddings. And it helped that Andrew and I were the same age and we played together all the time. He had honestly been the only kid I had been comfortable with. They lived in India though, so we visited very rarely and my mother didn't really like Aunt Adelie much. And now, I realized why.

"You say that like I'm the most incompetent person in the world!" he exclaimed and I laughed in response- "This was a well executed plan though. Maybe you should consider becoming a criminal mastermind."

He smiled apologetically and grabbed my hand. "I'm sorry about that. I've been watching you ever since you arrived, and I almost missed you for the first week. I noticed you in second week and I tried to talk to once. You looked at me and then went back to your work, ignoring me completely and being absolutely rude. But later, I realized, that you didn't really notice people much."

"What? I don't remember any of that! And what do you mean, I don't notice people? And how come I didn't see you anytime after that?"

"Ah, I kind of avoided you after that. Staying out of the way and all."

I was about to repeat my previous question when he started again, "How come you're joined after 5 years? Didn't you get the letter at 11?"

"They homeschooled me," I shrugged, hoping he wouldn't dwell on this particular question, and trying to make my half-lie sound as real as possible, "Hired an old wizard with Dumbledore's help and he taught me things. I have to sit my OWLs though, so here I am."

He nodded easily, and his brow furrowed, "How has school been treating you then? Mixed up well with those Gryffindors, haven't you?" he said teasingly, but it reminded me of another point.

"Hey what house are you in? You never said."

"Ah, I'm a Ravenclaw. _Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure_." He sang, tapping the side of his head.

"Oh I was hoping for Hufflepuff."

He stuck out his tongue as I asked again, "Are you in any of my classes? What do we have with the Raveclaws again-?"

"You have Defence and HOM with us. One's too interesting to pay attention to your surroundings, and one's too boring." He grinned and then started to get up from the dirty bench. As if on cue, my stomach rumbled loudly, and we laughed together as I followed him out into the now completely dark grounds.

"Oh, I almost forgot, how are Scar and Emily?" he said suddenly, and I accidently tripped on a stray stone and ended up face down in the ground, surprised at hearing the names of my siblings pop suddenly into conversation.

My lovely brother laughed for a solid minute before helping me back up, and I frowned into the dark, glad for the less light. I had been successful in avoiding any mention of my family among my group of friends. With Andy, I wouldn't really have that advantage.

"They're fine I suppose. Scardian and I don't talk much, but Emily's been keeping up. I haven't talked to her since I got here though." I shrugged noncommittally, and I saw him nodding through the dark.

We walked the rest of the way in silence to the huge oak doors, and my mind slowly processed the actual consequences of having a relative at Hogwarts. Andy would surely write to Aunt, what if she wrote to _my_ mother?

Before the thought could finally settle in, we reached the Great Hall and Andy smirked down at me, wrapping an arm casually around my shoulders, and starting to steer me towards to the Ravenclaw Table, "Eat with me today?"

I looked around at the Gryffindor Table, where the fifth years suddenly turned back to their food and started chatting with rather too much enthusiasm; all except Remus, who kept watching with a raised eyebrow. I almost grimaced, I did miss my brother, but I owed the people an explanation.

"Not today. The guys are worried." I said, and pushing his arm off, pecked his cheek and made a quick way towards my own table, after catching Andy making a face in my direction. I only just mastered the impulse to make a nastier one back.

I slid in between Alice and Remus, and the chatter died subtly. "That is my brother. We are distantly related." I said, piling food into my plate, knowing the best way out was quick and fast.

"You're related to that nutter?" a voice sneered from opposite me, and I saw Sirius looking over his shoulder with a haughty look on his face. I glared at him, wanting nothing more than to whack him around his stupid head.

"If you got a problem, talk to me." I snapped, and he looked back, surprised, before his face adopted an indifferent expression, and he shrugged and went back to his food. I cast a subtle glance at his wrist; it looked healed and there was no hint of a bruise. Since he had got the ointment, it was clear that he was just being his usual moody self. His behavior was probably the result of a wounded ego, rather than a bruised wrist.

"I thought you said you were muggle born?" Remus said from beside me and I nodded.

"I am. Andy's sort of… like a third cousin or something, a few times removed. I don't know the technicalities of it." I said, biting off a huge bit of chicken to avoid answering anymore, and the conversation moved on to cousins, and the right way to calculate how many times removed and such.

I paid no attention to it; I already knew how I was related to mine. I was more worried about the fact that now that Andrew knew, he would surely write to Aunt Adelie. She would probably write to my mother, to confirm that it was true, and why she hadn't been told before. What would my mother do then? Pretend that she knew all along, or tell the truth and say she hadn't known herself. Moreover, if my mother found out I was at Hogwarts, would she write to _me_?

I felt a prickling sensation on my neck, like I was being watched. I looked up suddenly, to see Sirius hastily look away and nod to something James had been saying.

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	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The week passed in a flurry of activity and anticipation on my side. Was a week long enough for the news of my presence at Hogwarts to reach home? However much I panicked, there was no word from anyone in the family, in any form. Andy met me in between classes, and we chatted sometimes, but as we had entered October, the teachers had been unrelenting with homework. I liked the work, so I could keep up happily, but that was not the case with the other fifth years.

Friday evening found us gathered around in front of the fireplace, sprawled lazily on the warm armchairs, struggling with one piece of homework or the other. Actually, Mary was the one struggling most. Lily was naturally brilliant at everything she did, though I did blame it on her study sessions with Remus, who was nothing if not hardworking and helpful. Peter was a part of those so he got double benefit, which was probably his reason for not metaphorically pulling his hair out like Mary was doing right now.

Peter and James were slowly muttering 'just two minutes, a minute more now…' under their breath, watching Mary with unblinking eyes, amused by her struggle. Lily and Alice were bent over a book, frowning and talking quietly, while Remus was lying face down one of the larger sofas, snoring. James and Peter were on the floor by his feet, chanting, while a highly ticked off Mary was scribbling and scratching her quill, on the table opposite Lily. I was at my usual place, as near the fire as possible, toes tickling slightly with the heat. Sirius was absent.

Sirius had been the bane of my existence ever since that night. That day at dinner, I had brushed it off to his wounded ego, thinking he would recover sooner or later. Unfortunately, that had not happened. His absolutely unfounded vendetta seemed to be set permanently against me; he snapped, sneered and argued over the littlest of things, mostly as an excuse to fight with me and probably piss me off, which he succeeded in doing every single time.

But I was not one to lose easily, and I gave him a taste of his own medicine as many times as he dished it. It wasn't like he felt guilty about picking the pointless fights; I would have felt better if he did, but he continued to talk to everyone else normally as soon as I stopped insulting him. The git even laughed five minutes later, and I was at my wits end about the whole point of it all. This time, I couldn't blame it on his mood either, because he didn't behave that way with anyone else, and I didn't know if I should feel special about that or not.

The only baffling thing was why did he bother at all? He never lost a chance to snobbishly make clear that whatever I did, or said, was stupid but I couldn't, for the life of me figure out what I had done to make him hate me so-

"SHUT UP!" Mary roared, slamming her quill on the table and snapping it in half. James and Peter stopped, looking stunned, before adopting matching grins and high fiving each other.

"Do you _want_ to live the rest of your life in St. Mungo's James?" she growled, pulling out her wand and glaring at the two.

"Mary, Mary, Mary." I began, scooting towards her, and pulling down her hand, "Calm down girl. You don't want Gryffindor to lose the match now, do you?"

I winked at James, and Mary sighed tiredly, looking like she was about to cry. "No. But I'm going to fail Herbology if they don't shut it!" she wailed, her voice unnaturally high-pitched. I was rather surprised to see tears in her eyes, but she quickly rubbed them off, and I scooted over closer.

"James, how do you handle quidditch _and_ homework together? I'm going to go insane." She complained, balling up her parchment and throwing it into the fire with a little more force than necessary.

"Detentions too," He said, puffing out his chest like an overgrown peacock, "And I'm a natural" he added, grinning crookedly at Mary, who simply glared back.

"Not helping." I said, frowning at James and turned to Mary. "Why don't you leave this for tomorrow? It's the weekend, you have loads of time to complete it."

"Hogsmeade trip tomorrow." She said, though no longer sad.

"Oh, I'd forgotten." James said, perking up again, "First Hogsmeade weekend of the year." He grinned at Peter in some silent recognition, and they both proceeded to try and prod Remus awake.

"Hogsmeade," I murmured, thinking past. It was the only completely wizarding settlement in Britain, a village established in the medieval times by Hengist of Woodcroft, who had settled here and founded the village, because of having driven away from his home by muggle persecutors. I'd read a lot on the subject, but I hadn't realized that it was that close to Hogwarts.

"Hey, I've never been to Hogsmeade." I wondered aloud, and Mary turned to me with an unrecognizable expression. She exchanged a glance with a newly interested Lily and Alice, and then, as if in slow motion, she smiled.

* * *

I had never really appreciated the strength of Hogwarts before, I noted, as I watched all the third years and above pile into the entrance hall, huddled together in close groups. A faint line had formed near the doors, where the caretaker, a nasty man called Filch, seemed to be scanning and poking the students with a long rod before sending them off.

"I understand they might bring dungbombs or dangerous stuff _into_ the castle, but honestly, what's the point of this while going _out_?" I muttered to Alice, who was on one side of me, while Lily and Mary were giggling on the other side.

The girls had decided to make a whole day out of it, claiming that they needed to make sure my first experience of Hogsmeade village was a memorable one. Not to mention, Mary and Lily had not been asked to go with anyone, so I felt a bit less guilty for monopolizing the girls.

"Oh he just likes to torture the students as much as possible." Peter said, strolling towards us, followed by James and Remus, all three decked in multiple jumpers, James and Peter's looking lumpy in some wrong places. Sirius had reportedly left already, with the blonde Ravenclaw, who I had learned was called Marlene McKinnon.

The other boys had apparently decided not to bring dates, and automatically joined us in the line. "Yeah, the one before him was tolerable. He didn't fantasize about hanging the students." James added, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Yeah, Pringle, his name was, right?" Mary said, breaking off from her conversation with Lily, "Apollyon Pringle. He was even good to some students."

"Yeah. Filch is awful. It's rumored he has chains and whips in his office." Alice said, shuddering with a mildly disgusted expressed on her face.

"That he does." James said, and then grinned enigmatically at the raised eyebrows.

"It doesn't help that he has some permanent vendetta against James and Sirius after last week. He's dying to catch them just one more time." Peter said, sharing a grin with James.

I looked blankly at Mary, Lily and Alice, while Remus pointedly looked away. We were _definitely_ missing something.

"I don't think I want to know." Lily sighed, as we moved to the head of the line.

As we were cleared and moved towards the gates, I spotted Sirius standing to the side, Marlene by his side, looking on edge.

"About time!" he boomed, as we neared, and quickly made his way towards James, not sparing anyone else another glance. He towed Marlene behind him, not leaving her hand, and I averted my gaze.

"Marlene just found out about a guy who can help. Listen…" he said, then pulled James away from the group, continuing as he we went ahead of them.

Remus was by my side; we were on the head of our little group, and I kept my mouth tightly shut, not wanting to ask what that was about.

Remus had questioned me, of course, about what was going on with Sirius and why we kept arguing for no reason, on Wednesday in the library. I had flared up at him, angry that he would ask me and not clarify with his best friend first. Maybe then he could have given _me_ some answers; I was as clueless as him. He had then explained that he had talked to Sirius about it but he had simply replied with a nonchalant 'Nothing. She's just annoying.' I had honestly tried not to take offence on that statement, but it was rather impossible, even though Remus claimed that he knew Sirius was lying and something else was the matter entirely. I only believed him because his theories were usually right.

Lily had tried too, but I had simply closed the matter with the old 'I don't want to talk about it' excuse.

We walked the whole way mostly in silence, the others chattering loudly around us, Sirius and Marlene somewhere in the very front.

"Right then. See you around, girls." James said, pulling himself and Peter to the side, as we reached the main street of the village.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked, folding her arms and looking suspiciously at his pockets.

"Ah,Evans, you know, we have some business to attend to. Work to do, places to be." He said airily, and turned around without another glance, walking fast towards the crowds of students, Peter huffing behind him.

Lily opened her mouth, but Mary spoke loudly before she could get another word out. "Right then. We need to be off too. Evy's first trip and all. Remus, care to join us?"

Sirius turned towards us, stopping whatever he was whispering in Marlene's ear, looking interested, but as his eyes fell on me- he turned back with a bored expression, and continued to talk to her.

"Sure. That would be great. I have no other engagements." He said, smiling and fell into step beside us as we trudged in against the wind, roughly following the dark shapes of Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon.

* * *

Hogsmeade was tiny for the only completely wizarding settlement in Britain. There was the main street, with a merry looking place called The Three Brroomsticks, which seemed to be the highlight, as most of the students headed for it to escape the wind. At the end of the street was a shop called Honeydukes. Remus made a beeline for it and we followed.

The inside was packed with students and lined with stacks and stacks of all kinds of chocolates. I opted to stay away from everything that looked like moving animals, but when we came out, my pockets were definitely heavier and my money bag considerably lighter.

Then there was Zonko's Joke shop, where I spotted James and Peter trying to hide away behind a pile of Stink Pellets, and leaving as soon as we were far away from the door. None of the others seemed to have noticed though, and James cast me a pleading look, miming zipping up his mouth. I let it go and concentrated on the various displays in the shop.

Zonko's was better than Honeydukes and I regretted spending so much on chocolate; I wanted to buy almost everything here. There were Whizzing worms, stink pellets, frog spawn soaps, a set of sweets that gartered different reactions from those who ate them (hiccough sweets, pepper imps, drooling drigbums, etc.) and many other nifty little items. I realized why James and Peter might be trying to hide from us, as Lily and Remus were both prefects and I was sure some of these items were not allowed in Hogwarts.

Mary wanted to drag us into Gladrags, a wizarding clothes shop, but I tagged along Remus instead, who had to buy a set of new quills from Dervish and Bangs, the equipment shop. We set off towards the south side of the village, ignoring Lily's furious mutters and pleading looks as Mary towed her in the opposite direction.

Dervish and Bangs was nice, there was also a book section in the back, though it didn't stray much from the topics of syllabus covered in Hogwarts. I bought a book named An Anthology of Eighteenth Century Charms, and helped Remus choose the quills, which he explained were for all the four boys.

Remus wanted to show me the post office next, but it was a little deeper into the residential part of the village, a large red building surrounded by little huts and cottages on either side. We were walking towards it on a relatively less crowded street, talking idly about charms homework, when I spotted _him_.

He was standing outside an old cottage, trying to blend in with the walls, looking shifty and twitching rather edgily, head bent downwards towards the blonde by his side. They were muttering to each other in low voices and holding hands.

"What's he doing?" I heard Remus mutter, mostly to himself; he had apparently followed my gaze and recognized Sirius and Marlene outside the old house.

Almost as if forgetting I was there, Remus started walking towards them with large strides, irritation emanating from his every pore. His jaw was clenched, and his gaze was focused on the back of Sirius' head.

"What's going on here?" He said loudly, and Sirius and Marlene jumped about a foot in the air.

Sirius looked shocked to see him there, but when his gaze turned towards me, he looked suddenly angry.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he exclaimed, turning back to Remus, adopting an incomprehensible look on his face. Marlene refused to meet my eyes, and frowned at the ground, fidgeting with her robes.

"We were going to the post office." Remus said in a measured voice, but I could sense his irritation creeping into anger at the lack of answers.

"So were we," Marlene said quickly, ducking her head when Remus glared at her openly. She was pretty stupid for a Ravenclaw. I mean, what was the point of lying if it wasn't even believable?

"Sirius, is this what I think it is?" he said, eyes boring into best friends, who looked suddenly uncertain. Sirius looked at me for a split second, before nodding tightly, "Yes."

Remus looked ready to shout at him, he had taken a deep breath, and expanded in a few seconds, and I realized for the first time how tall he was. He easily towered over me, and though Sirius wasn't short either, he had to look up to see into his face.

"What 'r ye lot doin' 'ere?" a confused voice said, and we all turned sharply to see a huge man standing in the door of the small house. He was old, covered in hair and black ink and had a short beard which hid the lower part of his large face. His eyes roved over all of us, settled on Marlene, and he smiled crookedly.

"McKinnon's daughter, ye? These 'yere friends ye mentioned?" he said cheerily, and I looked up at Remus, thankfully noting that he looked as confused as I was. Sirius looked more shifty than ever, and grabbing Marlene's hand, stared at Remus for a second before speaking lowly, "Just go, okay? What I do is none of your business."

They turned and went inside, shutting the door behind them.

Remus stood staring at the door, still as a statue, breathing hard. I had no idea what he was thinking, but I suspected it was something along the lines of breaking the door and demanding answers. I knew the boy that much.

"Let's just go." I said, looking uncertainly between the door and Remus, and slipping my hand into his. It was unnaturally warm.

He looked up, as if coming out of a stupor, and nodded, walking back the way we had come, forgetting all about the post office and not looking backwards at the old house they had disappeared into.

* * *

His movements were swift, agitated, as we walked through another deserted lane and I had matched his strides to keep up. I had no idea where we were headed, but Remus kept walking and only slowed once we had reached a part of the village which was completely deserted. There were no houses around here, just a bit of foresty land, and at the far end of a vast expanse of ground, was an old wired house.

I recognized the Shrieking Shack, allegedly the most haunted place in Britain; it was old, withering and looked like it was ready to crumble from the inside out. I had no patience to spare for the rumors of ghosts and ghouls that apparently lived inside the shack and hoped Remus did not too.

He didn't talk about the shack, however, and kicked a stray glass bottle angrily as we neared the shack. It hit a lonely tree on the edge of the ground, and shattered into a few thousand pieces, glittering in the faint sunlight. I watched him silently, waiting, as he slowed into a walk till we reached the fence. He glared at the building, hands clenched on the fence, and I stood by him, silently watching as he fumed, and all was quiet for about ten minutes.

"He's lying to me." He said quietly, and I didn't have to ask who he was talking about. His anger seemed to have abated, and he looked just miserable now, as opposed to someone who would like to tear apart a building or something.

"About what?" I said, equally as quiet, though there was no one in sight who could hear us. I wasn't going to pretend that I understood any part of their conversation; the whole of it had gone above my head.

Remus sighed quietly, and looked downwards, brows furrowed again, and remained like that for a minute. "I thought he was going to do it with Marlene today, you know, have sex. He had every intention of it in the morning, when he was talking to James. I don't really interfere when his _conquests_ are involved, but I think that's even more out of the line than usual. I did tell what I think of it, but he didn't listen. He was intent on carrying on anyway."

Well, that explained the first part of their conversation and why Remus had looked so angry. "Why does that bother you so much? What he does with his… girlfriends?" I said shyly, it didn't really make sense, unless Remus was, well, gay.

He snorted, looking darkly amused, "It's complicated. You won't understand."

I contemplated his words for a minute before replying, "You could try. I'm not that thick."

He looked at me with half a smile. "It's not that. Sirius is… hard to understand sometimes. I do think lowly of how he behaves with his flings, not caring about girls' feelings has become ingrained in his behavior now but they're not my main concerns. It's him. He doesn't realize what he does to himself. And now, with Marlene, I thought he's just lashing out, and he would regret it later." He said, shaking his head and frowning darkly.

"Lashing out?" I echoed, mirroring his expression, this was getting confusing.

"Yeah. Mostly because of that letter." Remus clarified and turned to look at me then, contemplating, like I was a puzzle.

"What?"

He shook his head, "Nothing. It's just that… how he's been behaving with you - I think that's a part of it. It's not his normal behavior, as you know. There's something bothering him and he's hiding it and lying."

"And I _hate_ it." He added, kicking the fence faintly again.

"But he wasn't doing it with Marlene, right? At least, it didn't look like that…" I trailed off, unless he had a fetish for old men. I shivered disgustedly.

"Yes. And that's the problem. He's up to something else and he won't tell me. By the looks of things, it was dangerous. He's going to get himself into trouble again. It what he _does_." Remus kicked the fence again, with more force, and it trembled like a leaf in a storm.

To be honest, this was very confusing. And Remus, was right, _complicated_. I decided I would give up on the whole thing. Since it didn't concern me, it would be better if I kept my nose of their business. I could see though, that Sirius had hurt Remus, and my only concern for now, was this boy.

Sirius Black was hard to understand, but I wasn't going to waste more brain cells on understanding someone who thought I was 'just annoying'.

**What do you think? Any guesses?**


	8. Chapter 7

**Sorry for the wait, there are many liable excuses most of them including 'life' but I think I'll just leave it to the chapter. I apologize again, but I'm into this story again, so expect somewhat regular updates from now! Thanks for the reviews, follows favorites, everything! Constant support is the only reason I kept working at it even after the writer's block.**

**This chapter is Beta-ed by my favorite lavanyalabelle. Thanks again, hon. Last few chapters have also been edited to root out small errors and such. Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Gathering at The Three Broomsticks at 4 o'clock every Hogsmeade weekend seemed to be another compulsory tradition that the fifth year Gryffindors followed. The inside of the pub was warm and packed with students, and I couldn't see a single free seat, until Mary waved us over from a large booth in the corner. James and Peter were also there, and so were Sirius and Marlene. Alice was nowhere to be seen until we reached the table, and I saw her squished between James and Mary. There were nine people sitting in a place for six, and I was practically in Marlene's lap, because it was only other open space, and Remus had pushed me in before him, seeing the condition.

There was no need for conversation between us; it flowed effortlessly on all sides. The only quiet ones were Marlene and me, and I sensed her anticipation, probably thinking that I would bring up the incident. I wasn't a fool though, as Remus was finally distracted, talking to Lily and Peter, claiming it was going to snow on the way back, because apparently he could quote feel it in my bones unquote, while Sirius faced the other way, having a whispered conversation with James. Alice and Mary were poring over a magazine they had apparently picked up from Gladrags and the rest of the evening was spent in easy chatter, to which I added only when prompted. I was content to drink the delicious liquid from my bottle, wondering if the place served something stronger.

I checked in with the barwoman, Madam Rosmerta, when everyone left on the way back to the school, who said that they did have firewhiskey but didn't serve students below age, _of course_. I grumbled my way out, wondering where I would find some free alcohol in this place.

I was now at the end of the group, behind Sirius and Marlene, who, I thankfully noted, were no more holding hands. They weren't talking in fact, but I kept my head down anyway, tuning out the laughter from the others.

Until, that is, I felt someone walking beside me. I ignored him though; I could tell who it was from the shoes.

"Is he angry?"

I looked up at him, to see him looking ahead, and not at me; and frowned at the side of his head, "Yes."

He nodded, and I added, "You hurt him, you know."

He looked sideways at me, but now I was looking ahead, not wanting to look at his hair shining perfectly in the light. "How do you know?"

"He told me he hated it when you lied." I sneaked a glance at him; he was grimacing.

"So he knows I was lying."

I wanted to say that that confirmed Remus' theory that he was lying, and that now I knew he was lying, but I let it rest, because the day had been confusing and exhausting enough already without another one of his fights.

"Fantastic." He muttered sullenly and moved past, joining Marlene again.

* * *

So Sirius Black apparently always got himself into trouble and that was what he was getting into today in Hogsmeade, with the old man who knew Marlene. He wanted Remus to think he was doing it with Marlene, even if the boy thought that was wrong or unacceptable, but actually wasn't and now knew that Remus knew he wasn't doing that.

Remus didn't want that for him, so he tried to make him see sense, but failed, which made Remus angry. Sirius didn't listen to him about the Marlene thing, which irritated him, but Sirius was lying about it, which made Remus angry. Remus also thought that Sirius would get himself into trouble, which happened very often apparently, and which made Remus angrier.

This was most of what conclusion I had been able to draw, after picking into every detail of what had occurred during the day. It was what I had spent my last two hours in bed doing. It made somewhat sense, I suppose, but the friendship dynamics of the four boys was something I always had trouble comprehending.

Also according to Remus, all the lying and hiding about what Sirius had been doing with Marlene, was also somehow related to his confusing behavior with me.

That was the part where I was drawing a blank on. I had no idea what he was on about.

I sat up on the bed, tired of tossing and turning, and got out silently. The dorm was getting a bit suffocating. The wind earlier in the day had stopped, giving way to an abrupt stillness. The fire in the room was making it rather stuffy and I felt clammy and somewhat hot.

I put on a simple pair of shorts and a tank top, picked up my wand from the table, and left the dormitory quietly. The common room was empty; it was very late in the night and even the late night stragglers had gone up to bed. I contemplated sitting in but the sight of the dying fire made me silently creep towards the portrait hole.

Fifteen minutes later, I was wandering in an unknown part of the castle, wand out but not lit - lest I attracted unwanted attention - and looking for an opening towards the grounds- a window, balcony, anything.

That was when I hit the bottom of a somewhat familiar set of stairs. I wasn't sure where they went or why they seemed familiar, but I didn't stop long to consider. Stairs meant a height, and some height was all I needed right now.

It was a tower, I realized, as the stairway wound around itself, and I kept climbing, impossibly high, and higher, and higher…

The door at the top was open and a large gust of wind blew through it. I sighed contently as it hit my face, feeling cool on my somewhat sweaty forehead. I climbed the last steps and looked around the railing.

It was the Astronomy tower. The equipment from our Astronomy class was in a heap on one side, telescopes and rolled up charts and stacked chairs. On the other side, was a figure of a boy, facing the barracks, and lying with his back to the wall, dark shaggy hair glinting in the moonlight.

I clenched my teeth together; today had already been too full of Sirius Black and his constant mood swings to risk another round. I contemplated going back quietly; I had gotten my taste of the wind I had so wished.

I had just decided to turn back around, when his voice interrupted my thoughts, "Want a sip?"

I looked at him, unmoving, my mouth hanging open. Either the light was playing tricks on my eyes, or Sirius Black was actually holding out a bottle of firewhiskey towards me.

"Don't look so shocked. I heard you asking Rosmerta today. I was going to give it to you tomorrow as a peace offering."

"Peace offering?" I echoed, grabbing the bottle, and deciding that maybe spending some time up here would do me some good, since Sirius seemed to be in a surprisingly non-argumentative mood.

He hummed and watched me as I examined the bottle carefully and smelled the liquid; one could never be too cautious- what if he was trying to poison me?

I took a swig and almost moaned as the sting soothed my throat. I had not tasted it in so long.

I took another gulp before reluctantly handing the bottle back to Sirius, who had been watching me the whole time.

"So, peace offering? Am I going to learn the reason for your more than affectionate behavior with me the past week?"

He laughed aloud, the full and somewhat loud bark-like sound, that was often heard when he was joking away with James. I smiled without realizing; it was nice to know I could make him laugh too.

"Maybe," he said finally, after talking another sip of the drink and calming down.

I wanted to say something like 'Tell me then' or some other phrase that would prompt him to speak, but oddly, I found myself sighing softly and just keeping quiet. Maybe it was the alcohol, though a good part of me knew I couldn't really get much drunk, being half-Asgardian, but I somehow felt that I was. I watched him for a moment, then making my decision, sat down next to him, keeping a more than respectable distance.

He looked towards me, surprised for a second, before turning back to his bottle, watching the liquid. He seemed to be in a gloomy kind of mood, though not bad enough to turn on me. I watched him for a while, but then started observing the sky - an old hobby - and picked out constellations slowly, at leisure.

It was at least five minutes before he spoke again. The silence had been amiable, though not like it was with Alice; there was some tension brewing in deep here. He had been watching the sky too and I abruptly remembered that he was good at Astronomy.

"Why did you bother getting the ointment that day?"

My eyebrows rose, and my breath whooshed out suddenly as I processed his words; he wasn't supposed to know that. How did he know that?!

"Wh-What?"

It wasn't possible. He had been sleeping, I recalled, as I searched through my memories of that day. He was sleeping on the couch and there was no way he or Remus could have seen me drop the little package. Had he talked to the school nurse then?

While I was hyperventilating slightly, he had turned around to face me. He didn't look angry, rather curious though, and I tried to calm my thoughts. He wasn't angry, so that was a plus. I looked towards his face again and took a deep breath, trying to calm my heartbeat.

"What do you mean why?" I asked, happy to note that my voice was mostly measured.

He frowned impatiently, the action making him look rather adorable. Stop brain. "I mean why did you bother getting the ointment? It wasn't much of a big deal anyway." he said, voice turning bitter again, just like that morning.

Now it was my turn to feel angry. I had that feeling again – which I didn't know was anger or guilt or both and I frowned hard at his words; they reminded me of what Remus had said about him.

"Not a big deal, my arse. Just because it happens to you there, doesn't mean it has to happen here. You shouldn't be used to it because it's awful. Don't blame others for acting like a normal person and caring." I huffed as I finished, and ended up folding my arms and glaring at him.

His expression was confusing because I couldn't exactly place it. He didn't look angry with my outburst, except well, a bit shocked. "There?" he whispered, and there was something in his voice that said he knew exactly what I had meant by it, and was only asking how I knew about what happened 'there'.

His expression was still unexplainable, and I found myself shivering slightly. Now I was afraid – what if he got angry with Remus about telling me? And strictly speaking, it was Remus' theory I was basing my assumption on so he hadn't shared anything too personal. I couldn't really mention him in this though, whatever the truth was.

"Students gossip sometimes. I can easily put two and two together about what happens in such situations." I said finally, looking away as I thought of my time at home. Or at what used to be home. I felt myself shiver again, and realized that I was just in my shorts and a tank top, which weren't appropriate clothes for the top of the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night.

When I looked back at Sirius, he was still staring and didn't seem to have moved an inch. I raised an eyebrow at him, and he blinked rapidly, shaking his head, but then focused his unnerving gaze on me again, "You don't talk about your family much either." He said simply, and my eyes widened.

I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it, realizing that saying anything would only confirm what he was probably thinking. And to be honest, even if I was wrong, I didn't particularly want to know what he was thinking when he came to that conclusion.

So I just clenched my teeth together before looking away and nodding once. He hummed and looked back up at the stars. "Don't mention it in front of the others." I mumbled quietly, and noticed him nodding silently from the corner of my eyes.

Black was perceptive, I had to give him that. I didn't know what had he seen or known to figure that out, but I reasoned if anyone could spot a person with difficult home life, it would be him.

I decided to break the silence after a few more minutes, after I had calmed down, "So you know now why I got that ointment. That doesn't explain your behavior though."

He chuckled slightly. "Sorry I was a dick." he said, flashing a sideways grin at me, but I didn't smile back, and simply raised an eyebrow.

"At first, I thought you'd done that because you pitied me." he spat, eyes on the sky.

"But I didn't-"

"Yes. I realized that later. You weren't one for pity. You always did things like that. I was no special case."

Wait. Now I was confused. I didn't really do things like that all the time, did I?

"What do you mean?" I said confusedly, when he didn't elaborate further.

He looked over, smiling slightly. "You don't realize it, do you?" he murmered softly, and I was surprised I could hear him - I had probably shifted closer unconsciously. "You remember that Ravenclaw third year you found in the bathrooms?"

I nodded. The girl had been unconscious in her stall, suffering from something which caused weakness. None of her friends had noticed and had left before; I had remembered that she hadn't come out and proceeded to checkup on her. I had to take her to the hospital wing, and had also let out quite a bit of steam on her friends for not noticing.

Her name was Maria and she was rather shy around me at first but we had warmed upto each other soon. She was a sweet little thing, and I shuddered to think of what could have happened if I hadn't found her.

"Well, you helped her, didn't you? And that first year who'd lost his way on potions. Oh, and not to forget how you keep helping Peter too, though the little git doesn't deserve it." he said, smiling softly, and I looked at him in the moonlight, appalled.

I was distracted by his beauty for a minute there- he looked quite beautiful, half his face illuminated in the pale light, smiling softly, and the other somewhat in darkness. He looked like one of those dark angels that were terrifyingly beautiful.

I shook my head to rid myself of the thoughts of his handsome face. He was wrong. He was making me out to be some sort of hero, when I had simply been doing my duty.

"Uhuh." I shook my head at him, "That's not a point. Anyone would've done that."

He smiled goofily, "No. They wouldn't have, you idiot! Think about it!"

And I thought on it somewhat. Okay, so everyone wouldn't have done that, but...most would have. Remus, for example, would have... maybe.

"Remus would have." I said confidently. As I watched, his face fell again, but he said, "Yeah maybe." His voice was sad, and he frowned slightly at the ground again, his merry mood gone in a second.

I mentally groaned at myself - it was because I had mentioned Remus, and I felt guilty for making him sad again. It reminded of the whole situation in Hogsmeade and I wondered if asking him would be any use.

I mused about the topic for some time, and there was tense silence – he knew it was coming before I asked the question- "So, what is the deal with you and Remus?"

He grimaced, but answered, which I hadn't actually expected, "It was something I had to do without telling him because he wouldn't approve."

He said the last word with such distaste, that it was obvious he couldn't be talking just about being with Marlene, it had to be something much more complex.

"But you think it's okay, whatever you were doing with Marlene and the old guy?"

He chuckled slightly then, looking sideways at me with a narrow-eyed expression for a moment, before seemingly deciding something.

"You know what…" he muttered, and sat up, putting the bottle down and started unbuttoning his shirt.

My eyebrows were probably raised beyond my hairline and I was about to exclaim if he had gone out of his mind, when he stopped at the third button, turned around and pushed the shirt off his right shoulder.

I frowned, but crawled a bit closer, realizing that he had some sort of tattoo on the shoulder. After a few minutes of blinking at it, I could make out the shape of the moon and some stars surrounding it in black ink, which seemed to be moving or rather, glittering, slightly.

"Wow." I breathed, and I doubted he had heard, but then he asked, his voice nervous, "So? What do you think?"

He pulled over the shirt again over his muscled arm, turning back with an expectant expression on his face.

"That was what you were doing there?" I asked, skeptical, wondering why he had to hide this from Remus in the first place.

"Yeah, and I couldn't tell him so I just let him assume what he did and didn't bother to correct him." He replied, rightly looking a bit embarrassed about it. "What do you think?"

"Well, it's beautiful." I said matter-of-factly, and I was being completely honest. But I still didn't understand, "But why did you not tell Remus? I can't imagine him being mad about a tattoo!"

Sirius' face had changed to an ear splitting grin when I'd said it was beautiful, but he grimaced again at my question. He picked up the bottle again and sighed, not drinking but playing with it in the space between us, which I suddenly realized had grown considerably smaller.

"Well the process was painful for starters and… and well, it changes with the phases of the real moon, so he can't be happy about that…" Sirius was talking very slowly, and seemed to be reassuring himself rather than me, "And the inking was quite expensive too. And he's a prefect, he won't really approve. He's going to be mad about it."

"Well, how about you tell him and find that out for yourself?" I suggested, remembering the reasons Remus had stated for being mad at Sirius. None of these sounded like things he would be concerned about. "I'm sure he'll like to learn that this is what you were actually doing than something inappropriate like a threesome with Marlene and the old man."

I chuckled to myself, then stopped suddenly and blushed. How had I said that aloud in front of Sirius Black?!

Siruis seemed to find it amusing though and let out a bark of laughter. He was laughing like a madman, while I blushed and mentally cursed myself some more, keeping my eyes on the ground. "And also," I almost had to shout above the noise he was making, "You should tell him the truth because he knows you're lying to him." That got his attention and he calmed down, nodding slowly, "And I think that hurts him more than anything else." I added eventually.

Sirius had pursed his lips in thought, and was staring off into space, considering my words, while my eyes zeroed in on his lips and how they seemed to be too perfectly formed for a man. He shouldn't be allowed to pout…

"You're right." He said, and I snapped out of my stupor, realizing with horror that I had leaned in towards him more, and our faces were now uncomfortably close.

I quickly moved back, and he seemed to notice as he looked back, but his face cleared and he smiled softly.

"Thanks." He said, sounding surprisingly sincere and grateful, and I found myself smiling in return. I belatedly noticed that we were still sitting uncomfortably close, but Sirius didn't seem to notice, or was ignoring it. If I moved back, he would notice, and who knows what conclusions he would draw? Those were some conclusions I didn't want to draw myself yet.

"No problem." I replied, albeit a bit breathily, and he was still smiling that same sincere smile, and not looking away. I wished I could do anything more than smile as well, but I couldn't look away from his compelling eyes. They seemed to drawing nearer and nearer, and I found myself mentally panicking, especially once I noticed his lips were pretty close too. The next second his eyes were flicking down my face, and I suddenly felt his hot breath on my cheeks-

There was a sudden loud crack and I snapped my neck downwards, at the same time as he did, and there was another thump as our heads collided. The bottle was in pieces on the floor, and the last bits of firewhiskey were staining our pants. I swore out loud, while he apologized profusely.

"Sorry, I didn't mean too – it was so sudden, I didn't realize I was- Look, I'm sorry-"

"It's alright, it's fine Sirius. Calm down. It's just a bottle._ Reparo_." I said, waving my wand, and the bottle looked new again, though its contents were lost. "_Scourgify_. There. See? No damage done." I said, as we both thankfully moved back apart.

I could breathe freely, and subtly tried taking large gulps of air to calm my heart, which was pounding in my ears. Sirius looked confused, and was breathing softly himself, while looking at me with a fixed and somewhat confused gaze.

"Right. No damage done." He repeated, and suddenly, I wasn't so sure.

**Good? Bad? Okay? Please review!**


	9. NOTE

NOTE

Yo guys, sorry this aint a chapter but I did revise this story and publish it again. To be honest - this feels a little damp and my writing style has changed and shit and the other one's a bit more dark and with a lot more swearing.

So if you guys are into that, check out the new one here - fanfiction dot net / s / 12098462 / 1 / Amor-Stupri

But if not, then I really don't mind - even though I really wish I could get back into this style and update this one.

Gonna leave this here for a week, then I'll delete this story. Hope y'all forgive me and enjoy the new one if you check it out. Would love some backtalk on that one since it's my first time trying a style and theme like that.

Thanks for all the love,

I'm sorry again but I love y'all and thanks for all the awesome support and everything. 3

Hope to see some of you on the other side.

E


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